Monday, October 31, 2022
Bonus Halloween Blog Entries (2022)
Bonus Halloween Blog #50 Cinemassacre's Monster Madness 2022
Bonus Halloween Blog #49 my thoughts on Not It and Treehouse of Horror 33
At the same time, you felt sorry for the pain they felt realizing they aren't real. Now knowing this, they simply wanna live their existence. Although, I previously stated to not directly spoil any endings. I really gotta mention the two most surprising jokes in the entire episode. Very late into Simpsonsworld, we learned there's more than one cartoon show domes.
Sunday, October 30, 2022
Bonus Halloween Blog #48 My Halloween story involving two haunted places in one night
I rather go explore actual haunted locations with people than doing that. Of course, I constantly felt a chill in my spine at times during these tours. Especially when the lights were off. Luckily, no one within the group got hurt. We ate on the way down from those haunted location tours. We were lucky to get two of them within one night.
Bonus Halloween Blog #47 My favorite slasher villains in horror
Saturday, October 29, 2022
Bonus Halloween Blog #46 Remembering Aaahh!!! Real Monsters show
Bonus Halloween Blog #45 Shark movies rant
Hello everyone I'm XboxClown89, today I want to talk about a particular sea creature. Movie companies kept making horror movies out of for years ever since the movie Jaws. A major hint right there, I'm going to do a full rant on Shark movies!!! I can understand a lot of beings among horror stuff. But why so many Shark movies?
Where to begin on this madness? There's a couple shark movies before the original Jaws came out. Somehow, shark movies came something people had to make money out of. A good amount of them rips several aspects from Jaws but done notably worse. We haven't even gotten to the mess up stuff yet. Shark movies is one of the most over done creature film concepts ever.
You can imagine they kept making things weirder. I am not kidding, some of it doesn't even make sense. Like there's a particular shark movie franchise where sharks have multiple heads. Of course, there's another notable franchise Sharktopus that's sharks with pieces of octopuses. Can you believe, we still haven't gotten there yet lol?
There's also another franchise called Sharknados. Now take a guess what that is? If you guessed tornadoes with sharks, you are right. Damn, each Sharknado movie gets more stupider as well as ridiculous. I also got to mention, Shark Exorcist. Which isn't just a Jaws rip off but also directly ripping off The Exorcist? Yeah a demonic shark movie.
Youtuber James Rolfe made two versions of his famous shark movie lists with the more recent version adding in stuff. Even went from the previously Top 40 Worst Shark Movies to Top 50 Worst Shark Movies. You can count on there's virtually an ocean or two filled with these bad shark movies. By now, nearly every species of shark has been done in horror films.
Some shark movies truly breaks the rules for sharks. Like a particular mess up movie, I swear I'm not making up. It is called Dick Shark, let's just say you don't wanna know. Most of us knows not to be in the water when sharks aren't around. But why do we need so many shark movies? It further bags the question why keep making them!!!
What's next a mulversal shark that can only be stunned by making a very complex formula? But the chances of getting the formula to the shark is close to impossible. Now I'm getting stupid ideas, I guess shark movies makes people stupider. At least, that's the general logic behind these movies. Most creatures in horror films has plenty of great rememberable movies.
It strongly felt sharks were never meant for horror movies. Sharks are interesting sea creatures. But most of these is a great disservice to sharks in general. You also got to realize, not many of them are direct mockbusters. Honestly, shark movies is like a disease. Not to mention, majority of them are so poorly done.
You could have a huge collection of bad horror movies that aren't even it's so bad it's so good thing. I'm sure most of them are just palm bad. Shark movies isn't even a huge demand creature horror film concept. Honestly, I felt for those making them to rip people off. For those people, it's just quick money. I think what's even worse is DVDs as well as streaming services are easy for them to get their movies out.
Of course, you know how that process works. They quickly rush out shark movies. They try getting someone people knows, it doesn't always happen. Then they wait for the money to roll in from ripping people off. Which may not be a lot but hey they can always do it again. Which is kinda sad, shark movies is something I can't even stand at the least.
Bonus Halloween Blog #44 Showing respect to Ghost Rider
Bonus Halloween Blog #43 Dr. Seuss' Halloween is Grinch Night (1977) review
Bonus Halloween Blog #42 MediEvil digital comic review (2019)
Hello everyone I'm XboxClown89, a few years ago I briefly mentioned in my MediEvil (PS4) review. Among the additional stuff you can buy with the game is a digital comic book. Well I think it's finally time to give that more proper respect by fully reviewing it here. Honestly, I don't have anything negative to say here.
MediEvil: Fate's Arrow (2019)
The comic itself was written by Chris Sorrell who came up with the story for MediEvil. Sadly following the game, he left the franchise. Although, parts of his designs is still present in MediEvil: Resurrection to a degree. At the beginning of the comic, for fans that always wanted to know which ending in MediEvil 2 was the canon ending.
In a surprising move, it turned out to be neither ending. Sir Daniel with Princess Kiya did use Professor Hamilton's time machine. Unfortunately the machine malfunctioned separating the couple. For Sir Daniel, he got sent back in time during a period. He still was alive while Zarok was an advisor to the king. We get to get to learn stuff we didn't think expect.
Such as Canny Tim was secretly a woman along. Sir Daniel's dog turned out to be a werewolf. If you haven't already figure it out by now. Parts of the story is a sequel but a huge amount of the story also a prequel too. Professor Darrow meets a mysterious figure that tells him all the stuff that happened. The figure in question is Sir Daniel disguised.
Sir Daniel does meet himself but later replaced him for the same battle he originally died in. So parts of the story we gotten from The Hall of Heroes in the original game suddenly lines up. Rather than being built on lies, I like that a lot. Sir Daniel gets an Egyptian eye prosthetic from Kiya. It's sad we don't see the two together again fully.
I will say the way the story was told was done well. The artwork is among the finest in the franchise. Not only that, we get to learn even more about Sir Daniel too. Not as much about Zarok but that's fine. I should point out the Jabberwocky does appear in the comic too. Honestly, it was a decent comic for what it is.
Sadly the closest we'll ever get to MediEvil 3. At least it happened in some form right? MediEvil 2, I still enjoyed myself. Of course, the original will always be my favorite entry but this comic currently my second favorite. It just felt more how the franchise should've went to me. But hey even MediEvil 2 was way better than MediEvil: Resurrection so that's a good sign.
Bonus Halloween Blog #41 Planet Terror (2007) & Death Proof (2007)
Hello everyone I'm XboxClown89, I want to talk about the movies that started a movie franchise based on an old movie location concept. Directors Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino came together to make Grindhouse. Essentially Grindhouse itself is two movies with each director making their own horror film.
This led to other directors like Jason Elisener to make Hobo with a Shotgun. Despite things, it's surprisingly a good film. But I'm here to review the very movies that kicked off Grindhouse franchise. Thus I wanna talk about both Planet Terror & Death Proof, two vastly different movies. I'm actually excited to revisit these classics not many people mentions as much anymore.
Before I get to the actual reviews, I got an interesting story relating to Grindhouse. A couple years ago, I went to Bengies Drive-In Theatre with my cousin as well as a friend. Usually they play three movies then we go home. For one particular time, we ended up staying for four movies. The last two being you guess it both halves of Grindhouse film.
I didn't get home until 3 in the morning, my friend already fell asleep. I might've been the only person who didn't feel asleep during the long night. It's quite an experience to watch movies on a huge screen. Bigger than those in movie theatres including IMAX but the audio comes through your car's radio. Man, I never forgotten that night ever since.
Planet Terror (2007)
First half of Grindhouse film is Planet Terror which was done by Rodriguez. I gotta mention something at the time I reviewed a movie called The Faculty. I was very surprised, that was the same director responsible for this. He later made two entries in Machete series which are also part of the franchise they built together.
This has some of the most disgusting zombies in just parts of the appearance you'll ever see. Some of them wears a particular mask to maintain their mutation. Which can get difficult to watch in some scenes. You may be surprised by some of the stars featured in this movie. We have Rose McGowan whose in a lot of great roles.
Josh Brolin who later played both Thanos in Marvel Cinematic Universe movies as well as Cable in Deadpool 2. He's also in a lot of movies including Men in Black 3. Tom Savini whose in a lot of horror films appears too. Quentin Tarantino appears in the movie too. Not to mention, Bruce Willis yeah!!!. More recently Willis retired from acting but for a good reason.
The special effects are surprisingly effective at times. This movie is widely known for a chick having an assault rifle for a leg. Which reminds me of the Scotsman from the show Samurai Jack. Also do expect a huge body count as well. Planet Terror is a movie that may suddenly become a little difficult to watch. Simply because of the zombies not in check kept getting more disgusting in their appearances.
Of course, this being a zombie movie it doesn't get The Return of the Living level crazy. I do think this was a good movie with the cheesiness of the movie concept. I felt, this turned out way better despite more zombie stuff kept coming out. Planet Terror is a movie that doesn't hold back in any sense of the word.
A group of survivors goes through hell with what's left of the military already infected. Sadly, you can't rely on help here. Unless you have that chick with a rifle leg. Honestly, Planet Terror was a good entry for Grindhouse franchise. I even preferred it over our next movie but I still have respect for Tarantino. I should also mention, Planet Terror has a difficult to watch attempt at rape in a scene too.
Death Proof (2007)
Directed by Tarantino whose responsible for such classics as Reservior Dogs, Kill Bill: Volume 1 & Volume 2 and Pulp Fiction. Death Proof centers on a crazy stuntman that preys on women with his modified stunt car. A notable amount of the movie is a reversal car chase. Sure the ending is quite cheesy too.
There's a few notably stars in the movie as well. Like Rose McGowan, yes her again. Eli Roth whose responsible for two Hostel films, Death Wish and a producer on a movie called Clown. There's also Mary Elizabeth Winstead whose in Final Destination 3, The Thing (2011) and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
Of course, the legend himself Kurt Russell. He's in a lot of movies like The Thing (1982), The Christmas Chronicles series and Escape from New York as well as Escape from L.A. respectively. I actually loved his stunt car but I still preferred the show Supernatural's car more though. Death Proof isn't as much about the kill count.
It's more about things that became clear someone was assaulting women. A small group of them surprised him while out on the road. Not to criticize the director, he could've made it more rememberable than it actually was. Honestly, it's not one of my favorites he's done. Planet Terror lives up to the hype it built up in comparison.
At least, you see some brutal car kills right? Which I felt those were given amazing special effects. Especially the most impressive thing about the movie. I just wish the movie had a different story with more of that thrown in. Of course, some horror movies involves killers that drives or actually vehicles themselves killing people.
I'm not saying Death Proof was a bad movie. No I am stating the fact you could easily expected more crazy things to happen in the actual movie. We have a crazy stunt man played by Russell. It felt like he doesn't get rip fully loose enough to get the job done. Maybe I held on to that disappointment for years but I still respect the film.
Friday, October 28, 2022
Bonus Halloween Blog #40 Van Helsing (2004)
Hello everyone I'm XboxClown89, the last major time I talked about the movie Van Helsing. It was me ranking alternate Dracula movies a few years ago. Now I felt since I seen Van Helsing a lot since then. I should finally review it for Halloween. I got some interesting views on the movie itself. Sadly, I didn't see the animated connected Van Helsing movie so that's excluded here.
Van Helsing (2004)
I want to kick things off by saying this is an Universal monster film. Although, the main character is a famous hunter named Van Helsing. There's some notable changes to several creature's lore like Frankenstein's Monster & Dracula respectively. The movie has some notable stars as well. Such as Hugh Jackman whose best known for playing Wolverine in a couple X-Men movies.
Kate Beckinsale is best known for playing Selene in Underworld series, a better role for her in my opinion. David Wenham also in two The Lord of the Rings movies as well as 300 series. The movie centers on Van Helsing hunting Dracula, it may seem simple but for a few reasons it's not. Helsing can't remember certain things with only Dracula knowing exactly what those memories were.
I should point out in most things the character is named Dr. Abraham Van Helsing. But here he's named Gabriel Van Helsing instead. Other creatures like werewolves as well as Mr. Hyde. Sadly, Mr. Hyde's voice came from the recently passed away Robbie Coltrane. Whose remembered for such roles as Valentin in two James Bond movies as well as Rubeus Hagrid in Harry Potter series.
Hughman previously played Wolverine makes more sense due to a major twist later in the movie. Beckinsale also faces vampires & werewolves here. The movie is about Dracula seeks a way to give life to numerous children of his. Which involves Frankenstein's Monster as part of the process. Of course, they also have Igor whose betrayed Dr. Frankenstein for Dracula.
Igor is played by Kevin J. O'Connor who played Benji in The Mummy with Brendan Fraser. In both films, O'Connor played a greedy man who ends up getting a horrible fate. He also serves a powerful undead being that eventually gets killed by the main character. Personally, The Mummy is the better movie here. Van Helsing gets bitten by a werewolf later revealed to be Anna's brother.
We get an unexpected final show between Dracula and an werewolf. But unlike other werewolves, Dracula doesn't control Van Helsing. Which led to his demise, some of the movie's worst CGI effects I say. I do like some of the twists but it felt parts of those were either forced or didn't fit in properly. I'm not saying the movie has a notable pacing problem either.
Van Helsing also has three brides for Dracula. I actually loved Frankenstein's Monster in this movie. I would even say he stands out above everyone else. He's greatly misunderstood by people but surprisingly a pleasant person. I will be brutally honest, I hated this take on Dracula though. Parts of the actor's performances as well as the big twist kinda ruined the character for me.
I still think it's a good movie but it has some notable flaws. I know no movie is without some form of it's flaws. I just felt most actors I knew were simply in better, similar movies. Not to mention, this movie has a mixed ending. Clearly, Universal does have better horror movies within it's long library of horror movies.
Bonus Halloween Blog #39 Frankenhooker (1990)
Hello everyone I'm XboxClown89, I will be honest this following movie. I actually found out about during Cinemassacre's Monster Madness X. A quick reminder, this one had several different themes on particular days. More directly Franken-Fridays, where James Rolfe reviews an Frankenstein movie. I confessed I'm a huge fan of the concept.
A quick refresh of all the themes for that Monster Madness marathons down below...
Modern Mondays
Top Ten Tuesdays
WTF Wednesdays
Blood-Thirsty Thursdays
Franken-Fridays
Weekend Whatevers
Franken-Fridays line up of film reviews
Frankenhooker (1990)
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1994)
Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster (1965)
Victor Frankenstein (2015)
Frankenhooker (1990)
The story centers on a crazy scientist who builds Frankenhooker from deceased hooker body parts. Obviously, this is a parody of the novel Frankenstein. I confessed during that Monster Madness marathon, I went out of my way to watch every movie for Franken-Fridays. There's some mess up moments in this movie.
Also I felt I needed something a little unexpected within not completed line up of Halloween blog marathon I'm currently writing. Frankenhooker involves women that gets killed. Just mostly done indirectly like an accident or not knowing it wasn't drugs. Which actually caused a couple ladies to get blown up.
I don't think the writer understands the concept of hookers. You are suppose to screw em not have them blown themselves off lol. Of course, a man they work for starts getting unpleasant to Jeffrey. Let's just say in a mess up way, he gets his missing ladies back. I actually liked Frankenhooker character herself. She is just strangely interesting to watch.
This movie greatly reminds me of another similar horror film series called Re-Animator. Which are more serious, disgusting in comparison. Obviously, both of them are heavily inspired by Frankenstein novel. Most people rather stick with doing the creature similar to the story it's based on. Here, let's make a female one out of dead hookers.
Frankenhooker is proof the 90s had some of the most out there concepts imaginable. Some of which wouldn't even fly today. The movie is quite unexpected in a few ways. I will say it's not among my favorite 1990 horror films. But you can still have a fun time watching this. Remember you aren't suppose to take the movie seriously.
Honestly, how the deceased body parts were taken was vastly different from the novel. In most versions of the story, Igor grave robs for them. Here, the body parts are recently deceased hookers they ended up killing themselves. It's almost like they gave up their life for pleasure regarding drugs. The actual scene women blew up close by each other was mind blowing.
In the end, Jeffrey gets his head attached to another body. Which is the second most mess figure in the movie. The most difficult to imagine doesn't even look like a person at all. It's more of a couple female limbs than anything else, I'm not kidding. Frankenhooker is a movie you should check out if you want something different.
Oh wait I'm not done yet. I figured since I did mentioned how I found out about the actual movie. I should do a quick Top 4 Franken-Fridays movies from those he reviewed in that Monster Madness marathon. Keep in mind, this following ranking is strictly mine alone.
4. Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster
3. Mary Shelley's Frankenstein
2. Frankenhooker
1. Victor Frankenstein
I will directly confirm Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster isn't technically an Frankenstein movie. So I felt kinda mixed while I was watching the movie for myself. Victor Frankenstein is hands down the best Frankenstein movie he reviewed there. Frankenhooker is a decent second best that's strangely rememberable in it's own way.