Thursday, May 18, 2017

Top 8 Video Game Movies Worse than Super Mario Brothers

Hi everyone I'm Jack Red, so many stated Super Mario Brothers movie is the worst video game movie. Honestly it is bad but at least there was a few short parts I liked about it. This is more like a movie you could enjoy if you were doing drugs or simply need something to watch late at night. I seen video game movies that are much worse.

Only two rules matter for a list like this...
1. These movies must be live action
2. They must be based on video games

8. Alone in the Dark

Alone in the Dark series is somewhat forgotten today. One of the first survival horror games predating Capcom's Resident Evil. These games are a mystery you are trying to solve on your own. Monsters are trying to kill you every step of the way. Tough puzzles that are meant to test your patience, intelligence & skills. How do you bring all of that into a movie? The short answer is it didn't even try. This movie has a terrible cast with a horrible story that's dated for it's time. You expect more for a horror movie based on a once great game series. Everything does not work at all feeling more like it's own weird story. Someone must've looked at him probably drunk and said let's title it after those Alone in the Dark games. Oh come on we aren't idiots Hollywood. This was clearly given no respect as shown by the movie itself. This doesn't even scream for a moment this is Alone in the Dark. This movie makes you feel like you're surrounded by darkness wasting away your life. Instead of doing something else way more worth your time.

7. Silent Hill: Revelation

I do enjoy the original Silent Hill movie. Sadly I can't say the same about Silent Hill: Revelation. This was a poor man's take of doing Silent Hill 3's story in a movie. I mean come on they did some nails which is better than Alone in the Dark right? Yeah but all of that goes completely outside the window as you seen this movie then play Silent Hill 3. You quickly realize how terrible this movie actually is. They took so little of the actual story. Vincent was turned into a teenager as a love interest for Heather? Really guys that's pretty stupid considering this is a movie based on one of the scariest game series. You really expect a lot more scares, great designs & obviously acting. You don't get any of those at all. This movie ruins everything I loved about Silent Hill 3. This is a great example of doing a great story to be given to someone who claims to be a fan. We ended getting a mountain of crap for a sequel to a great movie. You should go in with two different high expectations. Although you will quickly be disappointed how much this doesn't live up.

6. Double Dragon

Oh boy Double Dragon is sure one terrible movie. The cartoon airing around the same time was better than this. I have to give credit they did bring somethings from the games into the movie. Although most of them are done terribly. Robert Patrick in one of his absolute worst roles. I kid you not his character doesn't fit the theme of the movie at all. Everything from the start to the end. The one thing you should be thinking is did I just wasted my night watching this movie. Double Dragon has some horrible designs especially for video game characters. OMG not even that scene where a Double Dragon cabinet getting destroyed can save this movie. This is like they trying to make a shorter Mad Max movie but decided to cash in on Double Dragon instead. It virtually has little to nothing to do with a once great beat em up series. One interesting note one of the main guys haven't appeared in anything else since this movie. Yes it is that bad despite getting better reviews which I know is stretching it than the previous movies I just covered.

5. Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

Let's get this out of the way right now. The original live action Street Fighter movie was terrible. OMG Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li blew me away in actually being worse. At least the original movie was more like the games. I don't feel anything coming up like Street Fighter at all while watching this garbage. This movie is boring with a story that works too hard to be good. A movie that's amazing in sucking so bad that Capcom may not want to attempt another live action Street Fighter movie. Yes I know about the more recent Street Fighter: Assassin's Fist mini series that also got released as a movie. I highly recommend checking that out it is way better than both live action Street Fighter movies. This is just sad how horrible this movie became. Someone should've canceled this movie at all cost.

4. Resident Evil series

Although I like the original Resident Evil & Extinction. Most of these movies are terrible in their own right. Sure they do a better job bringing stuff from the games than those games I just covered. At the same time the entire plot from a true fan's point of view would say. This is impossible, there's no way a single virus could nearly wipe out humanity the rate of these movies. Each movie kept building on a okay story making it into a total train wreck. I am not kidding the last couple of them truly ruin the experience. These movies are a virus in & of themselves. They're horrible in every sense of the word.

3. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

One of my personal last favorite movies of all time. I was a huge fan of the original Mortal Kombat movie. Of course I was excited to check out it's sequel. Then I quickly realized how terrible this movie is. I know by now so many people said a lot of the same things I am about to say. Too many characters in such a short amount of time. It is like getting a tease to only end up getting nothing or beaten up. Majority of the cast got replaced with none of them doing a good job at it. I mean come on the people you had in the previous movie nailed those same characters. Sonya & Raiden are probably the worst offenders it is so bad. The movie is loosely based on Mortal Kombat 3 with parts of Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3. Probably not the best Mortal Kombat game to make a movie on. I highly recommend doing Mortal Kombat II since it does allow some more room for creativity. Most characters are horribly off from their video game counterparts especially Noob Saibot. Everything about Noob in this movie is flat out wrong. The way the story plays out makes things more repetitive than it should be. I could go on & on about this movie. It is hilariously bad that's never worth seeing a second or third time.

2. House of the Dead

Up til very recently this would've been my number 1 choice. House of the Dead is really bad in every sense of the word. They do a horrible job trying to make it more like the games. No I don't want to see that in a video game movie. What I want to see in one is them recreating some of my favorite things from those games to bring it to the big screens. Of course Uwe Boll was directing this abomination. Everything from start to finish is really not worth watching. Even more pissing off they don't play it out at all like The House of the Dead series. They didn't even try to make it feel like a game movie. Surprisingly some Sega employees has cameos that are short lived. The antagonist isn't like anything villain from the series not even from The House of the Dead: Overkill. You can clearly tell how poorly edited this movie actually is. Thankfully it's sequel is a little better but I don't recommend that one either. This movie is a major insult to not only fans of this series but to Sega as well. Sadly this was Uwe Boll's first video game movie. Good news Boll officially retired from movie making. Thank god the world really doesn't need to witness his horrible point of views on our favorite games.

1. Tekken: Kazuya's Revenge

WOW the first live action Tekken movie was bad but better than majority of this list. Tekken: Kazuya's Revenge is a prequel to that movie. Already that should open some red flags. It gets worse as the movie goes on. Kazuya was placed in a group without any memory of who he is. All fighting scenes aren't even close to Tekken standards. All major twists are horribly done with one in particular ruining the entire movie. You would expect Kazuya to fight his father Heihachi. Guess what nope that never ends making it unfaithful to the games. The director of those games already doesn't like their previous Tekken movie. Everything in every sense of the world is really bad. There is no good moments anywhere in this movie. I would go on but what's the point this isn't a true Tekken movie.

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