Wednesday, August 2, 2017

What If Horror Movie Monster Battle #20 (Main Event) Gremlins vs. Critters

Hi everyone I'm Jack Red, originally I had to change who should take on Critters. Which ended up being one of my most popular matches in history of this series. Now I am going to surprise everyone by finally giving you the original fight I wanted to do. You heard me correctly Gremlins vs. Critters. I am aware a lot of people talk about this one. I felt I deserve a say in this particular debate.

Before I start giving you a quick run down of these creatures. I should mention the connection between these two. The same people thought of both Gremlins & Critters. They originally thought of Critters first but Gremlins got green lighted. They had to move Critters back a little bit. Make no mistake these two creatures are very similar in a lot of ways. This is one of the biggest scale horror movie matches anyone can do.


Originally different fur covered creatures with strict guide lines. Not following eating after midnight causes them to mutate into gremlins. These are some vicious creatures that came close of wiping out a town in one night. Easily one of the biggest in numbers among many horror movie monsters. Gremlins will find you no matter what.


Critters are aliens on the run from galactic bounty hunters. They go to a planet at random to devour most living creatures. These little monsters are responsible for a huge body count in the first two movies alone. You will be amaze at what Critters can truly do. Easily one of the most dangerous aliens in any horror movie.

+By default they're bigger
+Can multiply by touching water
+Superior numbers
+More willing to fight & kill
+Will use anything as a weapon

-Critters can take advantage of them multiplying to kill them all
-Will struggle against bigger Critters

+Has better body part weaponry
+Devouring things increasing everything about them
+Rolling together in a big ball limits what Gremlins can do

-More arrogant
-Not able to increase their numbers as fast as Gremlins

I do want to point out they removed a particular trait of Critters from later movies. Where the more they eat, the bigger they become. In this version of the fight I am allowing that ability to be used. I won't be including all the mutated gremlins in this fight to keep things fair. For example electricity gremlin or smart gremlin can quickly turn the tables on Critters. Also I should say don't take any of these creatures lightly. You never know if one or many are hiding in your house.

This is a rather interesting battle we got here. Both of these creatures are wild that doesn't respect any kind of authority. Despite all the similarities, there are a few major differences that does help deciding which one would win. Gremlins can quickly increase their numbers by touching water. The rate of this is much faster than Critter's eggs hatching a longer period of time. At the same time, Critters can easily fly a space ship. It doesn't take a rocket science to figure out the best way to kill the gremlins is during them multiplying. This would be very obvious to Critters to do. The more Critters eat, the bigger them become. Gremlins aren't bright doing some stupid stuff. They wouldn't realize by multiplying, they actually adding to Critter's fuel. In both Gremlins movies, humans has killed several gremlins. It would be no brainer the bigger Critters could do the same. Critters also has sharper teeth in comparison. They also have spikes that will paralyze anyone hit by them. Last I checked Gremlins doesn't have a counter for that. Gremlins also has no real defense against the giant ball of Critters. Either way you look at this, Critters are much worse to go up against.

Now do all of us a favor and destroy the bloody things!!!

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