Microsoft doesn't want Postal series rant

Warning this will be a lengthy blog post, please take as many breaks as needed thank you.

Hello everyone I'm XboxClown89, I kept noticing posts from Running with Scissors. The indie game company responsible for Postal series confirming several times. Microsoft doesn't want Postal series on Xbox consoles. I been thinking about this particular rant for months. Honestly, that by itself bags a lot of questions with not enough answers!!!

For starters what exactly is Postal series? Especially you may heard of em or never had before. Postal series is over the top, offensive, comical, multi genre games. I could name a lot of games on Xbox consoles that's similar to Postal series in some way. Maybe by the end of this rant you start seeing why the hell not put em on those consoles?

1. Conker's Bad Fur Day (both versions)

One of my first examples on this topic. Conker's Bad Fur Day has a lot of the same stuff going for it. Conker has some similarities with the Postal Dude. Some jokes can be seen as offensive as well. There's plenty of over the top comical moments including disgusting stuff. This is as close to Rare ever came to possibly making an Running with Scissors game.

It's even crazier both versions are on most Xbox consoles now. Conker's Bad Fur Day also had some ties to Playboy. The same also is true for Postal series. There's also a brief period being a different species. I know they allowed both versions since Microsoft owned Rare. Conker's Bad Fur Day and Postal 2 dramatically changed the course of their franchises into the direction their fans wanted.

A small section in Conker's Bad Fur Day a parody of a particular movie The Matrix. Postal 4 has a particular chore with beta testing a game while wearing an VR headset. They also face zombies later on their respective games. Not to mention, a hub world connects most of the locations together in presented as well.

A lot of the humor came from the main characters. They also had a famous terrorist group as enemies. Not only that both helped a lot of people through out their games doing some terrible stuff. I never said any of this was going to be pretty quite the opposite actually. I really would love some form of a crossover to happen too.

2. Saints Row series

Another great example is Saints Row series. The first two entries has a few jokes. From Saints Row: The Third to up ended up being more over the top, offensive, comical multi genre games. Some Postal game has a particular bow weapon not for the kids. Saints Row turned that concept into a bat that people won't shut up about.

Imagine Postal 2 or Postal 4 on a bigger scale. You basically would actually get Saints Row series. You do stuff for a lot of people similar to the Postal Dude does in Postal series. Not to mention Playa or The Boss are somewhat like the character too. At one point some of the Saints as well as the Postal Dude goes to Hell.

In most Saints Row games, you take everything over. In two Postal games with one being a secret ending has a similar concept. They also have a huge world to explore with mostly freedom to do whatever they want. You also have wanted levels you have a few ways to get rid of. There's also racing to a degree in em as well.

Despite Volition got buried, the franchise could eventually return. Which is indirectly similar to many attempts to follow up on Conker's Bad Fur Day that never fully materialized. The closest one being an dlc in another game Project Spark called Conker's Big Reunion. Also both had a famous bad game being Postal III and Young Conker respectively.

3. South Park series

Of course, I had to talk about South Park series. South Park is one of the longest running animated sitcoms ever. Which has majority of the check list Postal series had going for it. Despite being a vastly different game series from those of the Postal series. Everything else virtually identical in every other way. South Park has it's own long list of controversiality over the years.

In all honestly, these recent South Park games been successful. I am not sure about South Park: Snow Day! that recently came out. It's mind blowing some of the stuff they actually allowed in them. Yes they are on Xbox consoles further making me question why the hell not? South Park Funny enough predates Postal 1 by roughly an month.

It's true several game companies made South Park games. The original South Park game was a FPS game. Which is somewhat similar to Postal 2: Apocalypse Weekend. Also included in the more recently added mode, Two Weeks in Paradise. There's also South Park Rally a bad Mario Kart rip off. Postal 4 did had a chore where you race in scooters.

Postal series parodies many game franchises to a degree with Pac-Man being the most parodied among em. South Park: Chef's Luv Shack has mini game parodies of several Arcade classics. I'm sure they parodied more game franchises with the more recent entries. The closest South Park character to the Postal Dude is Eric Cartman yeah no fricking surprise there lol.

4. AVGN 1 & 2 Deluxe

Some of you may already seen this coming. AVGN 1 & 2 Deluxe is a great example of what would be an Postal game done in 2D that's also an unique platformer game. Just like South Park, most of the check list marked. In nearly every possible way this game vastly similar to the Postal series. Both the main characters are similar enough.

Yes this game can be quite over the top, offensive, comical itself. It is based on a famous video game review web show after all. I could easily connect the dots how similar the two are. This also one of my absolute favorite indie games ever made!!! It's virtually mind blowing all of these are on Xbox consoles but none of Postal series is why?

The main characters are strikingly similar in a lot of ways. There's plenty of violent moments with some truly disgusting ones. You also have a particular boss made out of feces I'm not making up that. They also have several different theme locations to play through as well. To some degree both reference other video games, AVGN heavily does from start to finish.

To a degree both has some self aware moments. They heavily involve beer being some form of a health item. I strongly felt out of all my choices, this one actually the closest to Postal series. Yes even more than South Park series, mind blowing I know. You virtually had nearly everything Postal series within it imaginable plus more to boot, there's no excuse for this!!!

Conclusion

Running with Scissors tried several times to make it happen. It's not clear why Microsoft turned them down every single time. Especially when most of these had somewhat notable successes. It's almost like they really didn't wanna take a chance on em. Maybe it's because Nintendo and Sony beating them so badly.

By allowing Postal series may hurt their chances. Not to mention, some Postal games are on some of their consoles too. Therefore, it could've struggled because of that too. Regardless what the actual reasons are. Postal series deserves to eventually get on Xbox consoles one day. It's almost like they looked at these games.

Then they felt Postal series wouldn't differ itself enough from them. Which there's some truth in that no doubt. There's people that really joy stuff like this. Postal are some truly amazing stuff if you could look pass the offensive stuff they have. Obviously people already doing that with Saints Row, South Park, AVGN and Conker prior to turning Running with Scissors attempts down.

Postal series is much more than it appears to be. In the end, they are making parody of the world in an entertaining matter. Most comedians brings out the offensive jokes. Why because if they kept playing it safe people stop coming to their shows. Personally Postal 2 has some of my favorite jokes ever in a video game.

Yes there's some truly violent moments as well as some disgusting ones. Then again most of these games are more meant for young adults. Deep down, parts of us is like The Postal Dude. I don't think Microsoft would lose much money either way of the situation. Maybe more indie developers would support em by allowing such an franchise onto their consoles.

Postal isn't for everyone there's no sugar coating that. But the same also is true about South Park or AVGN too. Also if you need to laugh these games would help to a degree. Majority of them are very replayable games. It's a real shame Microsoft won't allow such an controversial franchise. But they recently allow some of their games onto PlayStation's service?

Postal does deserve more respect than what Microsoft shown to it. Personally when I originally heard Running with Scissors pitched one of the Postal games to them, it would be a slam dunk. Well it was a dunk alright not a good one either. Microsoft been supporting indie developers for years. Which further bags the question why they kept turning Running with Scissors down like this is beyond me.