Friday, October 6, 2017

Top 16 Killer Clowns in The Killer Klowns Kollection

Hi everyone I'm Jack Red, I couldn't be any more excited to do this following blog. I finally have the golden opportunity to talk about one of my absolute favorite killers in any horror movies. You guess it killer clowns even normal clowns seem scary to many children around the world.

My history of what led to my passion for them may surprise people. As a kid, DC's The Joker & Twisted Metal's Sweet Tooth were two famous fictional killer clowns that I am still a huge fan of today. Believe it or not, at first trying to get into killer clown movies wasn't easy for me. Not counting school, personal stuff & doing other things.

One of my cousins did introduce me to killer clown movies with IT. Although this was a mini series that's done in two parts. Many people still consider it a movie. Then out of the clear blue I was bored watching a lot of movies on cable. I came across Killer Klowns from Outer Space. This movie kept me wanting to constantly rewatching it. Right then & there I knew I was meant to like killer clown movies.

Over the years I have seen many of these movies before getting this collection. I am realizing in 2017, this is the time for killer clown movies. This month alone a couple of killer clown movies are coming to theaters. Killer clowns is so unique in many possible ways. You can do it as a serious horror movie or a comical one. Just killer clowns themselves have so many possibilities alone. It puts everything else you can possibly name to shame.

Today I want to do a crazy list worthy of the name Killer Clowns. Why not do Top 16 Killer Clowns in The Killer Klowns Kollection? I doubt anyone has a crazier killer clown DVD collection than me. Eventually when the time is right I will make the sequel collection my final purchase to Bloodwave DVD. You know like having a date with someone you really like & really don't want anything to go wrong feeling. I feel just like that towards doing a follow up collection.

I hope you guys will be entertain by how crazy this list will get. I also hope you see how I personally like my killer clowns in horror movies. Of course everyone has different taste in everything. I only ask out of respect to please not be nasty & trolling. Any signs of that, your comment will be deleted on the spot. I do give people as many chances as you might give me.

16. Dead Clowns from Dead Clowns

Fifty years later, these zombie clowns raise from their watery grave for revenge. How do they go about it you asked? By eating everyone they find in town during a hurricane. Oh ok moving on they don't make much sounds except when they're eating. They may not look like clowns at first. They sure don't hold back from killing people. Nothing was keeping them away for long. In the end, a man wrote on a huge paper about you will be remembered. Keep in mind the storm was still going on strong. This led to everybody dies kind of ending. The reason they're so low on this list is they don't do much things you expect from killer clowns.

15. The Laugh from Amusement

The Laugh is easily one of the most disappointing among this list. Only in one story, he wears the creepy clown costume. He does laugh a lot but it's hard for me to consider him for this list. In fact if you timed all of these movies how long you see what you would consider as a killer clown. Amusement has the shortest of a few minutes at best. The only portion of it in my opinion worth rewatching it. The Laugh does have a great clown costume. Sadly I really can't say anything positive beyond this point. He does slightly more than Dead Clowns. If it weren't for that one story & clown costume. The Laugh would've been the bottom killer clown of this list.

14. John Wayne Gacy from Gacy

One of the most famous real life serial killers in American history. John Wayne Gacy has many movies based on his story. Widely known for a body count of over thirty people. Most of them buried in the crawl space of his house. Sadly this wasn't a good Gacy movie. In fact he doesn't wear his clown costume & make up often. Only one kill we do see him wearing it. Mostly this is loosely based on him. Considering this Gacy I do expect more out of him. At least he is more entertaining to watch. Gacy will quickly made after the same director did Drahmer based on another real life serial killer. You knew this had to not be good but I wouldn't say it's terrible.

13. Jack Attack from Demonic Toys series

Jack Attack is hands down my favorite among the demonic toys. You have a killer clown in a jack of the box that goes around killing people. Honestly I do like the concept for many reasons. Jack Attack is creepy in most of his appearances. For some reason counting the unofficial crossover with Puppet Master. Jack Attack's abilities do change between movies. Which by itself does make him more interesting. Clearly one of my favorite killer toys along with the puppets from Puppet Master series & Chucky.

12. Gurdy the Clown from 100 Tears

Gurdy doesn't speak much in the entire movie. What really stands out how much violent his murders are. Gurdy wastes no time to kill as many people as he possibly can. Later on, he brings his daughter into the killing spree. He wields a giant clever that he is a master of using. This clown doesn't make around which isn't known among killer clown movies. Gurdy is easily my favorite characters of 100 Tears. This guy snapped after his girlfriend's sister started a terrible lie. Directly causing him to go insane. I do have to adore the work he does.

11. Captain Spaulding from The Devil's Rejects
Granted if House of 1000 Corpses were in this collection. Captain Spaulding would've been a little higher. Honestly he is one of my personal favorite killer clowns ever. This guy has plenty of rememberable moments. Despite not killing anyone in The Devil's Rejects. I do like we do learn more of his back story during the movie. Captain Spaulding steals the show as soon as he appears. Easily one of the most entertaining horror movie villains. Later on, he does take of his make up. But I won't hold that against him.

10. Killjoy from Killjoy series

I am going to be direct if this collection had Killjoy 4 and 5. Killjoy would've be a little higher on my list. Killjoy series has some over the top moments especially in Killjoy 1. For the most part, Killjoy is entertaining to watch. Some of the strangest kills in this collection comes from him. Killjoy is known for messing with his victims. Another thing is the first three Killjoy movies are more different than the last. Mostly due to Killjoy 1 and 2 was made by another company not bridging to each other. By Killjoy 3, Full Moon got the rights to continue the franchise. Seriously all of their movies is worth rewatching. Killjoy is sorta hard to recommend among killer clown fans. I do enjoy this character a lot but not so much in Killjoy 2.

9. Marty Rantzen from Slaughter High

Marty isn't technically a clown but he does become a prankster of death. Which does make him more of a jester than a killer clown. I guess anything that involves comical has to count as clowns. He does laugh late in the movie like a maniac. I will allow Marty to stay since I do enjoy his kill scenes. He does come off as the next best thing following Jason Voorhees since the same team made the movie. Marty has some creative deaths among this collection. I would go as far to say he might be the most underated killer clown of any horror movie.

8. Lunatic Clowns from Clownhouse

As soon as I seen all three of these lunatics dress up as clowns. I knew I was going to like them a lot. Yes they don't speak but they do smile often. They don't kill many people yet this plays perfectly for anyone afraid of clowns. Considering Casey is afraid of them he does help. Each one of them is creepy almost like a real clown. I never was afraid of clowns, my brother was. These guys are constantly waiting to strike. There is just something about these clowns I really enjoy.

7. Cloyne from Clown

Kent puts on what he thought was a clown costume after hearing the clown isn't coming to his son's birthday party. Later you find out this actually was skin of a demon that looks similar to a clown. I do like the clown origin came from this creature. This demon devours five children for every month of Winter. The longer parts of this demon is on him, the more monster he becomes. Even a small part of it can possess someone. Honestly I really enjoy the movie Clown with a passion. Cloyne is hands down one of the scariest killer clowns yet.

6. Horny the Clown from Drive-Thru

Horny the Clown was an employee at Hella Burger. Until a horrible prank led to his death. In fact something just bad happens in Slaughter High to Marty. Clearly Horny wants revenge for what happened to him. Like Gurdy, he wields a huge cleaver to kill people. Everything about him I like very much. I love his personality & outfit that truly stands on it's own among other killer clown movies. Horny has some of my favorite kills in any killer clown movies.

5. Der Klown from Krampus

Yes this movie is more about Krampus punishing a child & granting his wish of getting rid of his family. Der Klown is the one taking most of his family out. Obviously I have to bring up Demonic Toys' Jack Attack. They're both killer clown jack in the boxes that kills people. They both laugh often that creeps you out. I knew as soon as I seen Der Klown that I loved him. One of the creepiest killer toys I have ever seen. This thing can handle many shotgun shots while traveling in the snow. Easily one of my personal favorite killer clowns.

4. Art the Clown from All Hallows' Eve

Art the Clown may not be in a great movie. But everybody does agree Art the Clown is easily the best thing about it. Art is not only creepy but also one of the most evil killer clowns I have ever seen. He has a strong present in all the stories in this movie. This demon doesn't know the meaning of staying away. He prefers to kill you in such a brutal, disgusting way. Art is clearly the director's mascot character. Which I highly support if he does decide to do that. Art the Clown doesn't speak either but his laugh is one of the creepiest.

3. Rocco the Clown & Stitchface from The Funhouse Massacre

Let's be honest both Rocco & Stitchface earn a spot together for many reasons. I honestly can't put one over the other without pissing myself off. Rocco has one of the biggest body counts of my killer clown movies. Stitchface is essentially Harley Quinn of my killer clown movies. I should mention there isn't many female killer clowns in this collection. Stitchface has some intense kill scenes to sorta match Rocco's. Believe it or not, both of them survive. These two are easily two of the most inspiring killer clown characters to me.

2. Stitches from Stitches

Stitches had to be this high on my list. He starts entertaining at Tom's birthday party that led to a horrible accident. Six years later on Tom's seventeenth party. Stitches raises from his grave to get revenge of those kids. I got to be honest I really enjoy his kill scenes. Not only they're over the top but creative as well. Stitches is one of my absolute favorite killer clowns. This guy to me became my favorite character after returning from the grave. I should mention he sorta had a lover as the opening shows us. Everything about this movie is ridiculous but I love it.

1. Klowns from Killer Klowns from Outer Space
You all knew Klowns from Killer Klowns from Outer Space had to be my number 1 choice. I don't think any killer clowns can top them no matter how hard they try. They do almost everything horrible you can imagine. They trick people, kidnapping some in large balloons & directly kill people in other ways. One of them uses an invisible car to knock a guy off the road. The same clown uses shadow puppets to entertain a small group of people. Then his shadow becomes darker into a vicious T-Rex eating them. Clearly they have the biggest confirm body count of any killer clown movies. At their core, their aliens where supposedly our ideas of clowns came from. Hard to believe, they came all the way to Earth to eat people. Not only these clowns are creepiest but also the most unique. Yes their weapons are laughable but it fits perfectly with their character. Klowns has a giant clown often called off screen by as Klownzilla. These creatures nearly wipe out an entire town over night. They're truly amazing at what they do. In my eyes they're legendary in every sense of the word. Maybe I really love that movie or I can't get enough of them or both who really knows. This is my list, I say Klowns gets the number 1 spot.

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