I hope you really don't have to watch any of these movies. Especially if you love corn & Stephen King. Why because it will give you a great reason to dislike them. Honestly I am punishing myself in one of the worst tortures for horror movies imaginable. I hope later in life you will thank me by not watching these. Otherwise you will quickly regret doing it. I know I already do for many reasons.
1. Children of the Corn 5: Fields of Terror (1998)
The movie debut of Eva Mendes is the only fact about this movie worth noting. Everything else works in a huge way. This movie makes you want to eat straws for the rest of your life than to watch one more minute of it. Usually most of these movies centers around one couple with some exceptions. This movie has two couples that got loss close by the corn field.
In a weird sense there's two cult leaders in this movie. You would think this could lead to something worth watching right? Wrong they killed off Luke to quickly reveal Ezekial is the true leader. Does anyone remember in Leprechaun 3 when Scott got bite by the leprechaun. He stabbed him in the fore head with a knife while blood from the leprechaun went into his wound.
This eventually cause for a confrontation between two leprechauns. Now that movie put such a concept to use why not this one? Think about it, in the original Children of the Corn & it's TV remake. Malachai felt like Isaac wasn't doing the right things. This led to several heated argument leading up to him screwing over Isaac.
Let's be honest the titles were already not great following Children of the Corn 2. But come on Fields of Terror. I guess they didn't want to be sue over calling it Fields of Screams. I hear a lot of great things about Fields of Screams over the years. A place you go a few times in October & sometimes on Halloween to enjoy with others. Of course most of you will be scare even before half way through.
Oh you got to like a bad horror movie that doesn't explain why this kid named Ezekial gets possessed by He Who Walks Behind the Rows. This kid uses his powers to lift an older man into the air to be hit by a bolt of lightning. Seriously you already know things are about to get ugly or this particular case uglier. This movie very quickly doesn't even feel like a Children of the Corn movie.
Most of the cultists are notably above the age limit. In otherwise from a realistic stand point. This kind should've been the only member. Clearly this movie is ignoring their gold rule. Which makes this easily one of the worst among Children of the Corn movies. I can't believe they keep crapping out this movies almost like machine gun fire.
Also how this cult goes about members being too old is a little hard to take seriously. They jump in the silo filled with fire from He Who Walks Behind the Rows to feed him. One of the main characters in desperation joins the cult to end up doing that. This is the only movie where one of the main characters joins the cult of their own free will. This is also the only one where they commit suicide for the cult.
What's worst is the movie really makes it obvious whose leading the cult. They have the nerve to try tricking us whose the leader later on. Of course Luke was already dead prior to this. Ezekial uses him like a puppet to trick people who been abused by their parents to join his cult. Some of the worst scenes in Children of the Corn series you will ever see. Same can be said for one of the worst among special effects.
My pick for the single worst kill is Luke's corpse has his head split wide open with flames burning the sheriff's face. Follow by a blast that went right through his head. Everything about this kill is so bad that it's good vibe doesn't work here. This kill does split open heads but not in the way you think. Honestly I prefer Scorpion's toasty fatality way more than this crap.
One interesting fact about this movie is Alexis Arquette. This person was in both this & Bride of Chucky the same year. More recently Arquette passed away but the roles she played will be remembered. Both David & Patricia Arquette have been in several horror movies. They're sidling of Alexis Arquette that more people know about. I still think Alexis does deserve some respect.
The final scene ends abruptly when suddenly the shot at the baby stops. You see fire moving in the baby's eyes. I seen better endings that are trying to shock horror movie fans. This is one of the absolute worst final scenes in any Children of the Corn movies. Also it felt like a last minute decision to do this. I wonder if they had more time if any maybe something a little better would've been here.
Clearly that concept has been done before but it felt like a missed opportunity here. Simply having that would've made the movie a little bit better. Maybe from not considering doing it for my blog series. This movie is incredibly boring from start to finish. At this point it felt more like a retelling than an actual sequel.
2. Children of the Corn 666: Isaac's Return (1999)
My first problem is the title itself. First they brought voodo into the second movie. Although in title only we bring in satanism. Both of which aren't what the cult worships at all. You already know it's bad if the title is where we kick things off. John Franklin returns as the original cult leader Isaac. Wait what didn't he die in the original?
Yes he did after He Who Walks Behind the Rows possessed him got taken out shortly afterwards. But no according to this movie, all this time Isaac was in a terrible coma. Considering this cult usually kills most adults in town & close by the corn field. This further bags the poor excuse of bringing back a dead character to alive again.
Some adults are aware of the cult including the town doctor. In this movie a prophecy of a woman giving birth to paradise by getting it on with their god. Oh ok what the hell is this crap? No I am serious this by itself is already one of the absolute worst things I ever seen in a horror movie. But having He Who Walks Behind the Rows doing it with a woman not from there is pretty stupid.
Usually some movies with the devil does that concept. Yet it makes more sense for many reason. Also we barely get to see their god in action. I guess he's worse in bed than we all guessed. This is a poor excuse to try wowing us but failed horribly. Honestly most of the kills aren't worth writing home about. You find out one of Isaac's sons is possessed by He Who Walks Behind the Rows.
How He Who Walks Behind the Rows gets killed by is very stupid. He quickly kills Isaac by forcing him on the ground while he's floating up. He sends a large pipe to impale him to death. Then remembers the lady is still in the room. She causes a explosion with him making no real attempt to escape. In other words kill me bitch I dare you.
Seriously how many times have I seen in horror movies make the same mistake? Come on give me something little more creative maybe original. This movie can't be canon since Isaac was technically dead since the original. Which by itself made the events of Children of the Corn 2 not canon. Are we heading into a possible universal explosion here.
What makes this movie worse is this terrible prophecy actually becomes true. Well oh ok we never got to see how things play out after this movie. We do know she gets pregnant by their god. This is the only Children of the Corn movie to have a sex scene. A movie about a cult filled with children & teenagers to have a sex scene.
Now that would be like allowing The Muppets to cross over with Sesame Street. Out of the clear blue a few bad words get said. All hell breaks loose just after one of them. Just imagine they didn't stop airing that episode. Just makes as much sense as that garbage. You know what I would throw this movie into the machine to crush cars & similar stuff into cubes.
3. Children of the Corn 7: Revelation (2001)
This completely broke the canon of the original short story. You go most of the movies wondering where the hell is the corn field. Where it actually is you wouldn't believe me even I told you. This corn field is hidden in the basement of the apartment. Yes I'm not kidding this raises a lot of questions.
Clearly in the previous movies, we do see a corn field often. Why we do barely see the real one until the end? Yes I am aware there are a few flash back scenes. What the hell just stop guys. Jamie's grandmother was a child during the cult being alive. This movie's cult leader Abel brings everyone inside a text.
He starts burning it down with everyone inside. Only Jamie's grand mom survived such a tragedy. It so happens the very spot they all died is this apartment. Most adults that die in this movie become kid ghosts. Oh come on that doesn't make much sense. Jamie has been getting dreams related to these ghosts. This sorta makes sense like anything actually does in this piece of crap.
Most of these kills are too forced for my taste. They seem to go on longer than they need to. How some of them dies is pretty stupid. Can you believe Michael Ironside is in this movie? I am not kidding how the hell did they get such a great actor in such a horrible movie. I believe Nostalgia Critic once said there is no insult worse by having a great actor in a terrible movie.
I do agree because Ironside was in some great movies. I bet even his other bad movies are better than this. The pacing of this movie can drive a room full of people to lose their crap in seconds. This movie doesn't even feel like a Children of the Corn movie. No it feels more like a terrible ghost movie well it is. So I guess the joke's on me, it better not.
Children of the Corn 7 moved too far away from the concept as possible. Some of these kid ghosts are actually adults. If I'm not mistaken there exists a rule anyone 18 & older must die. This completely ignored that rule without a care in the world. All of them are already dead basically making all of them like their god.
This is the second Children of the Corn movie to not feature He Who Walks Behind the Rows. Considering this being cause one of the highest known body counts in any Stephen King story. Why isn't present in this movie is puzzling. Although the previous versions of the characters aren't great. So maybe by not having him here sorta helps the movie a little bit.
Oh yeah guess how this cult gets defeated this time? Would you believe by destroying a corn field? A haunted corn field that looks much better than it should be. I guess instead of water, the souls of their victims makes this grow. I think by now you can see I'm really losing myself trying to take these seriously.
4. Children of the Corn 8: Genesis (2011)
Of course I saved the best I mean worst for last. I felt this one is really high on my movies to avoid list. Children of the Corn 8 is a very low budget movie that isn't even worth checking out. Can you believe there exist a DVD collection with Hellraiser: Revelations because it's real. You already know at this point the series already hit rock bottom. Why the hell do you have to make another one?
Yes there is a cult despite not being much in the movie. Now for a Children of the Corn movie that's rare. Also by doing that makes it unfaithful to the original short story. Seriously how many movies can one short story inspire to make? No really I'm curious to know the answer if there actually exists one.
A couple is trying to save a child not realizing he has powers. Some of the absolute worst special effects in possibly horror movie history is found here. It makes those of Children of the Corn 3 look like a master piece. WOW that bad is right, a movie that not even the cover got nothing to hide. You already know you wasted both your time & money.
The priest is an old man instead of someone around their age. Now that's similar to the previous movie since Abel was haunting this apartment for a long time. Therefore both of them already broken the golden rule of the cult by being too old to be a member. In the canon, He Who Walks Behind the Rows kills all the members whose too old. So where the hell was he in this movie?
Unless that child is suppose to be him. Now this is already sounding like one of those rare kind of bad movies. Once you seen it, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Clearly no real effort was put into making this. They made it crystal clear they only wanted the money. This child has some of the most ridiculous kills in the franchise history.
Not only everything in every possible way is really bad. Not even the story itself holds up in fact it felt too rushed. I don't know if they wanted to quick get the movie out like Hellraiser: Revelations or simply wanted the money. This movie doesn't even come close feeling like it's complete. I seen bad movies that have way more to offer than this.
Just like Children of the Corn 3, this child is using his powers too damn much. It quickly further cements the movie faster than anything worth saving can be recovered. Think about this movie actually being a empty black hole trying to suck you in. All it does in return is take all excitement right off your face.
What's worse is the previous movie came out ten years prior. You would think by this point, one of several things are going to happen. They do a movie reboot to start over. Keep in mind two years prior was the TV remake. They would have to pull the plug from making any more movies. Honestly that's the option I'm voting for.
It becomes obvious they didn't learn from the last couple of movies. I don't even think they care anymore. Their long standing horror franchise based on a short story from Stephen King is a mockery in & of itself. I bet Stephen King would sue them if they continue to keep making these. I know if I were the author, as soon as this franchise went into a bad direction. I would have it quickly canceled as soon as possible.
Bonus section
So what did we learn about this movies? All of them believe in the same things. Mostly found in corn fields killing outsiders &adults. The rules kept changing pushing it further away from their source material. In this particular case a short story by Stephen King. I said it once & I'll say it again. How many times can one short story inspire movies to make?
Some movies are bigger offenders than others for many reasons. Children of the Corn usually happens in one state with Children of the Corn 3 being the only exception. How some movies portrays He Who Walks Behind the Rows is questionable at best. Some movies heavily implies he is actually a demon that's using kids to murder people.
It seems like every time we actually seen him, his appearance & how to kill him changes. Some movies break the golden rule of the cult by having members too old. Very true in Children of the Corn 7 since all of them are ghosts. Some movies uses too much powers like Children of the Corn 3 & 8. The original short story doesn't have much of the super natural happening. Most of the cultists in Children of the Corn 5 were teenagers. Although just looking at them, you can tell they're older than they appear to be. Already a bad sign regarding the age canon rule. Oh screw it these movies doesn't even take themselves seriously.
Also we still don't know who or what their god actually was in that story. Of course I honestly wouldn't be surprise to hear it actually is The Man in Black. It felt like each movie was getting worse with a new low with Children of the Corn 8. Honestly no body is seriously buying these so why are they still being made?
I could ask the same question about Hellraiser franchise except the first two movies of that are better than most of these. This movies stand together as one of King's biggest mistakes because clearly the people making them doesn't care about the story. In fact the way the short story was set up. It couldn't have a sequel to begin with. Which further complex me how or why this was even possible. Bottom line don't even take the time to watch one of these. Now I think about it, these movies may have came from Hell!!!
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