Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Jack Red reviews Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movies

Hi everyone I'm Jack Red, happy early Thanksgiving. I am thankful for many things. Such as having my family, an awesome wife, an home and living my life the way I want to. Of course entertainment wise I'm also thankfully for being into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise since my child hood. Ever since I watched the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. I knew it was something I was meant to be an fan of.

Today I will be reviewing all the major Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies. I won't be doing Turtles Forever since that's technically a part of an series finale of an show. But movie version of it is still one of my favorite TMNT movies to date.

Original TMNT Movie Trilogy (1990-1993)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

The movie getting me into the franchise in the first place. Still one of the best comic book movies of all time. At this time the original cartoon really exploded in popularity. The only way they could take it up to the next level was making an live action movie. To my surprise like both Sin City movies, this is directly following the comic books. Every part of this movie works well for it's time. They nailed all the characters including The Shredder & Master Splinter. Some of the best humor of the franchise in my opinion. This movie still amazes me to this day as it always been made for true fans like myself. The plot of the movie follows the Foot Clan robbing New York City with not even the police helping. The turtles decides to get involve to save the city. Early on they meet an reporter named April O'Neil whose an great supporting character. This was the best TMNT movie for both April & Casey as none of them following this did either character this much justice. I always enjoy watching this movie as to me this was the turtles all about. More recently we are getting more good super hero movies. But all great ones do owe respect to this being the first super hero movie to nail it.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

The best sequel movie in the franchise in my opinion. Yes I could criticize they did tone down the language or being more slap stick comedy. Honestly I could understand toning down the language mostly because Raphael saying Damn several times in the original. But why did the violence suffer because of that makes no sense to me. Although I did grew up with many slap stick cartoons so I didn't mind this change. The plot involves The Shredder comes back to get revenge on the turtles. The Foot Clan kidnaps an scientist to create his own mutants. This following part still upsets many fans of the original cartoon to this day. Originally we were suppose to get Bebop & Rocksteady from that show. Instead they gave us Rahzar & Tokka in their place. I kinda like the idea of the turtles taking on an bad turtle & wolf concept. Sure I came more recently to like Bebop & Rocksteady to understand why they're still piss about it. I do feel this move do help the movie a little better. This was the last movie to have Tatsu whose was The Shredder's right hand man in the first two movies. Only an handful of games including my child hood favorite TMNT: The Hyperstone Heist has him. I could criticize how Super Shredder defeated myself but his hatred for the turtles is simply not matched. Some say him doing that under the docks wasn't his character while others just called it stupid. I really like the appearance of Super Shredder whose played by wrestler Kevin Nash. This movie still lives up to the name in it's own right. The humor of it does remind people of the original cartoon. Some jokes like the infamous Vanilla Ice song still gets people talking today. They did do an great job giving us an sequel that does continue their legacy.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time

Originally just called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III. On some rereleases of this movie got changed to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time. Not to be confused with the sequel arcade game or it's SNES port. Still one of the biggest mistakes in the franchise to date. OMG this movie is one of the worst sequel movies I ever seen. I really wish I knew what they were thinking while they're making the movie. This really doesn't feel like an TMNT movie at all. They attempted time travel to combine two completely different movies into one. Of course you know how that turned out, it's terrible. In present time story Casey has to keep an eye on the samurais taking the turtles' place. The turtles already became legends before they got there how the hell does that work. Oh wait they did that too with Army of Darkness except it made more sense & that's an good movie. In the Past Japan of the 1600s, the turtles takes on an shogun & an guy stealing weaponry. Walker doesn't look like he's from that time period. No it's more like the old wild west why is he here no body knows. An bigger question is where the hell are the TMNT villains like Krang or even The Shredder. Sorry folks you only get these two bad guys. I should mention the turtles look very good in the first two movies. WOW what in the holy crap is this? All four turtles looks like they're on some serious life altering drugs compared to those movies. Especially how they walk it's almost like The Muppets or sorry to take an example of The Nerd but it's accurate sock puppets. Basically the entire time travel is done by holding onto an supposedly magical lantern. This means most of the time you pick it up, get ready to go in the distance past or future. This by itself makes no sense what the hell happened to what Doc Brown said about time travel guys. What's worst is the turtles ends up carrying out the legacy originally meant for samurais. Now what's wrong with that picture come on I'm give you five minutes to guess it? Time's out for so many not knowing the origin of ninjas. The original ninjas were farmers tired about how the dynasty especially their samurais were doing things. They decided to take an stand as what we now know as ninjas. To sum it up ninjas & samurais of that time period were natural enemies. Why in god's name would the turtles being ninjas want to fill that legacy. It comes off more as an direct insult to ninjas than actually saving people. This movie barely has anything good parts except the only one part everyone talks about. You know the one with the samurais dancing to Tarzan Boys. The ending is more like an short lived joke told poorly than an actual movie ending. Master Splinter is even affected by how bad this movie actually is. Unlike the first two movies, you never see all of him in this movie for some reason. It's as if they attempted to play him off like an Sesame Street. Plus I should talk about the ending joke done by Master Splinter. I could accept him saying Cowabunga or referencing that Vanilla Ice song. If you are new to this movie chances are you probably wish to never see this joke after seeing it again. Seriously it really is that damn bad of an joke. It makes no sense at all because unlike previous two movie end jokes it has no connection to this movie in any possible way. In conclusion just pretend there's only the first two movies & you should be happy in the long run. This is an abomination that almost killed the franchise.

Stand alone sequel

TMNT (2007)

This movie is an direct follow up to the original movie while ignoring all sequels. What's funny is they also did this to Superman live action movies. Although things from those movies still appear in this movie. Should I say they almost had an possible paradox or just bland luck. This is the only CGI movie with many being mixed about it. I remember going on an field trip in my high school to go see this movie. Still one of my favorite field trips to this day. I got to be honest this movie did blow me away. It does revamp things giving it an more refreshing appeal. Especially considering how bad the previous movie was hurts everyone's brain like an tumor or an rare form of cancer. Once again this nails all the characters very well. I do like we get to see more of Master Splinter. This has the second best April & Casey of all the movies. The story at first won't come off like an TMNT movie but trust me it does later on. In the past an king ruled most of the world to find an mysterious power. Among getting it on rare conditions cause the greatest pain known to human kind. Most of his army got wiped out with his brotherhood becoming statues & himself now immortal to live forever. Also freeing a lot of monsters into our world. Yes the Foot Clan returns to play an neutral role this time. I felt this shows how interesting things get in many TMNT stories. The turtles get to take on this brotherhood. Of course one of my favorite parts is Raphael's secret gets exposed during an fight with his brother Leonardo. Easiest one of the best scenes in any TMNT movies. For an CGI movie you do expect it to be funnier but the more serious direction does make it more like an TMNT movie. I really like how most of the story plays out. They did an awesome job with the cast in general. This stands as one of the absolute best TMNT movies to date.

Reboot series (2014-up)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

I was mixed among a lot of things being confirmed for this movie. At this point I wasn't sure if I wanted to see it or not. I refuse to watch the new Ghostbusters & Power Rangers movie. To me this is the second worst TMNT movie in the franchise. I didn't like the Foot Clan having guns. Wait I thought they were ninjas not the black ops unit. I wasn't crazy for Master Splinter's appearance but still better than TMNT III's. It took time for April O'Neil to grow on me but still far from perfect. The Shredder actually got an quick actor replacement among confirming the first signed on actor to do him. The guy originally going to be him became an new character within the movie serving him. I wasn't crazy how they went about The Shredder at all. The worst Shredder in all the movies because just look at him. He looks more like an giant swiss army knife. Instead of fighting with swords the traditional way why not having six long blades connected by an device to move around in the air. Is this The Shredder or some technology freak trying to get excited from ruining lives. The worst appearance award goes to the turtles themselves. OMG it is hilariously bad to some degree it's debatable what's worse this or their TMNT III's appearance. They decided to make them look more like humans with their size being really off. Plus Donatello gets the worst looking appearance of all TMNT characters in any TMNT movies. When I first saw what Donatello looks like in this movie, it really turned me off. I couldn't believe they made him look like an ugly eyeglasses salesman than what he was suppose to look like. The plot follows an similar story to the original TMNT movie. The Foot Clan is controlling crime around the city just like that movie. Once again our heroes the turtles come out of the sewers to save the city. They quickly go through the origin since they already covered it in several canons now. But what makes this origin story different is April has an more personal connection. The only canon where Master Splinter doesn't name all four turtles. I am not going to lie I did like some parts I wasn't expecting to like. Such as the elevator scene or the chase you know the same chase sequence in most of Michael Bay movies. I also did like Master Splinter taking on The Shredder easily one of the movie's high lights. This movie has okay humor with not great set of characters. I do like as strange it is how April was the one to beat The Shredder this time. One of The Shredder defeats in any TMNT movies. This movie isn't bad more on the lines of being okay. By now you already seen better TMNT movies or played better TMNT games.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)

I finally saw this movie on my birthday this past Monday. The last time I watched something new of TMNT on my birthday. An few years ago first airing Turtles Forever as an movie. I got to be honest I was happy to hear some of the stuff in this movie. Of course they also has stuff I don't like mostly an particular take on an classic character. First off huge improvement on the turtles' appearance. They also fixed Master Splinter's appearance making this one of my favorites. The humor works better including stuff that may not come off like it at first. You know parts of movies that weren't meant to be funny but to some it is. For example April telling the turtles to go shortly tried talking to the police. I don't know why it doesn't make a lot of sense. Yet in an weird way it kinda does come off that way to me. After so many years we get Bebop & Rocksteady so many fans wanted them to be in an movie. I think they did an amazing job doing that. Krang finally makes his movie debut but it doesn't live up as much. I felt the voice should've been different with different lines would've helped more. I did like how they worked in the Technodrome. Honestly that worked better than Krang or The Shredder. They did fix The Shredder but not enough. The Shredder actually comes off boring compared to the previous movies. I do like his full armored appearance but because we don't see it used much in the actual movie. I felt they missed an great opportunity to wow me with it. I really didn't like Krang trapped The Shredder which pissed a lot of people off. Every TMNT fan wanted them to stay working together. I didn't mind Krang took out The Shredder but the way he does it comes off cheap as well as boring. Really this alien got The Shredder frozen within the Technodrome as one of his many personal trophies. I mean come on is this the best Hollywood could come up with. Baxter Stockman also debuts in this movie playing an huge role. In the end The Shredder screwed him over just before he got screwed over himself. Where is the sense in all of that guys? Majority of this movie is similar to TMNT II: The Secret of the Ooze. Let me explain both involve The Shredder kidnapping an scientist working on the same chemical Ooze & created two mutants to serve him. In an sense you could say this could be them remaking that movie. Most parts of the story does play more like TMNT should but still lacks the spirit of it. Now it's time to talk about the worst Casey Jones. The actor plays Oliver Queen on Arrow whose great at that role. I don't understand why his take on Casey Jones was going to be this forgettable. In most things TMNT, Casey Jones is one of the best supporting characters. This version lacked many personal things Casey had in those stories including the hair. In this movie he was an cop whose also an vigilante. What he never was an police officer in the first place where did they get that is beyond me. Originally he was an major league hockey player until he broken his leg forcing him to retire from it. Also considering Casey fights with many sports equipment why does he only use hockey stuff? In the first movie he uses two small bats & an golf club on Tatsu. I was expecting he might use stuff like that or other sports themed equipment. Also this Casey's personality is really off compared to how Casey suppose to be. At least he has common sense unlike the original cartoon TMNT version. The only version of him actually worse than this one. Overall I really enjoyed this movie for what it is. Yes it is far from perfect but still one of the better sequels. An huge improvement over the previous movie indeed.

Now it's time to rank all Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies from worst to best down below...
6. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time
5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014 version)
4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze
1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990 version)

I hope you guys like my blog because if you really want me to do this with all TMNT shows. If I get enough requests from fellow fans, I likely will deliver it. Until next time I'm Jack Red and I'll see all of you later.

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