This was inspired by Cinemassacre's Most Unlikely VS Battles. Ultimately the goal isn't about who wins. The true objective is how eventually all of them fights each other. I will try to make this as entertaining as possible. Oh I'm sure this is going to be a lot of fun to write. I can be as creative as I want, enough Jim Carrey for ya?
The Riddler
Batman Forever
A former employee of Wayne Enterprises, Edward Nygma became determine to prove Bruce Wayne was wrong. He later teams up with a criminal named Two Face. He became The Riddler that kept leaving riddles behind.
Cable Guy
The Cable Guy
A former cable technician that stalks a consumer. He's obsessed with television to the point, his many atlas came from several shows. He desperately wants a friend while kept over stepping boundaries. Ultimately he meant well despite everything that happened.
Dr. Robotnik
Sonic series
Sonic's nemesis that used to work for the US government. He's obsessed with taking over the world. To him, machines are reliable while humans never were. He clearly lacks humanity to the point of easily crossing lines without a thought.
This is my what if scenario for these three Jim Carrey fighting each other
Cable Guy parked outside an apartment. Unknown to him, Steven was going to cancel his cable out for the Box. However Dr. Robotnik intercept many of them getting sent to people around Gotham City. When his consumer received the package. As soon as he turns on the Box, a transmission played with Dr. Robotnik speaking.
"Greetings consumers you could have the Box."
"But at the cost of your freedom, robots!!!"
A lot of smaller robots shows up at Steven's apartment. Steven freaks out almost speechless what's going on. Just when he's about to be taken hostage. Cable Guy knocks at his door, Dr. Robotnik commands a few robots to attack on his orders. He didn't give them any verbal commands either. Dr. Robotnik suddenly came up with an idea.
"What's your name?"
Steven replies, "Steven."
"Oh okay Steven!!! I need you to tell the cable guy to go away or I'll destroy the apartment."
Steven walks up to the door then says, "Hello."
Steven refuses to open the door knowing what could happen. There was a brief moment of silence.
Cable Guy said, "Cable Guy!!! I got cable may I come in?"
Steven suddenly replies in fear as well as anger, "NO!!!"
Cable Guy demands to know why he can't do his job. Steven replies, "I decided to try out the Box."
Cable Guy asks, "Oh that piece of crap when you could own quality television in your own home!!!"
Steven replies, "I heard such amazing things about the Box, please take your stuff and go!!!"
Obviously angering the cable guy, he agrees to leave. Dr. Robotnik continues to talk to Steven.
"Good work, I could've got rid of him for good though."
Steven replies, "I don't think he's coming back."
Dr. Robotnik replies, "He better not, we aren't done yet."
Steven asks in confusion, "What do you mean?"
Dr. Robotnik explains, "Well Steven I plan to take over the world.
"I simply don't trust humas, I plan to use machines to do every task I sent out to do."
Steven replies, "There's billions of people in the world."
"There's no way you could kidnap the entire world!!!"
Dr. Robotnik in both anger as well as curiosity replies, "Never say never!!!"
Steven replies, "Is that a song?"
Dr. Robotnik replies, "More like a James Bond movie, it better not be a song haha."
Steven gets kidnapped by robots while the cable guy as he's leaving. He suddenly saw Steven getting taken away by robots. He does to pursuit the robots with his van. During all of this, Edward Nygma made a public announcement about introducing the Box to TVs in Gotham City. Following after doing this announcement, he checks the process of the Box on TVs around the city.
To his surprise, someone else altered his creation for their personal gain. The Riddler tells Two Face about this surprising news upsetting the duo. This cause Two Face to do more crimes while being pursuit by Batman. Nygma tracked where most of the Box are located. He was deeply shocked a local coffee shop had em.
Nygma arrives as The Riddler at Mean Bean Coffee Cafe. Dr. Robotnik working with Knuckles being away from the coffee shop. Agent Stone working his cover running the coffee shop.
Agent Stone asks, "What can I do for you?"
The Riddler replies, "Well I didn't come here for the coffee."
Agent Stone asks, "Then why are you here?"
The Riddler replies, "It appears the Box, my creation got stolen by someone."
Agent Stone replies, "I never heard of The Box, I have no idea what you're talking about."
The Riddler replies, "Oh I bet you do!!!"
Agent Stone prepares to shoot The Riddler but misses. The Riddler uses a variation of the Box on Agent Stone's head.
The Riddler waits a few seconds before asking his questions to Agent Stone.
"Agent Stone is it?"
Agent Stone replies, "Yes it is."
The Riddler asks, "Who stolen my technology?"
Agent Stone replies, "I can't answer that!!!"
The Riddler takes device off his head revealing he tied Agent Stone up.
The Riddler says, "No funny ideas, you already tied up cowboy."
Agent Stone replies, "My boss would kill you for this!!!"
The Riddler replies, "Really!!!"
The Riddler continues, "Do I look like I care?"
The Riddler continues, "I got Two Face, he's lucky he didn't show up instead."
The Riddler continues, "This coffee shop wouldn't be left standing."
Agent Stone replies, "This actually isn't a coffee shop."
The Riddler replies, "Oh I knew as soon as I took a quick look around the place."
The Riddler continues, "I may already have what I need from you anyway."
The Riddler continues, "I simply leave you here but I'll leave you a riddle."
Agent Stone replies, "Please my boss isn't going to take kindly to this!!!"
The robots arrived at the coffee shop with the Riddler already left. Cable Guy is parked a few miles away trying to be secretive while pursuing the robots. Dr. Robotnik with Knuckles used a portal to get back to the coffee shop. Very quickly Dr. Robotnik realizes something is wrong.
In anger Dr. Robotnik unties Agent Stone then asks, "What happened Agent Stone?"
Agent Stone replies, "We may have a problem doctor."
Dr. Robotnik replies, "What sort of problem?"
Agent Stone replies, "A crazy man dressed in green with question marks came by."
Dr. Robotnik out of curiosity says, "I'm already pursuing a super fast hedgehog."
Dr. Robotnik continues, "Now some man dressed up with question marks?"
Dr. Robotnik continues, "How could this get any stranger?"
Knuckles replies, "He shouldn't be a problem."
Dr. Robotnik replies, "Thank you Knuckles."
Agent Stone says, "He came looking for the Box devices we taken."
Dr. Robotnik says, "Interesting someone may rival my technology capabilities how unlikely!!!"
Dr. Robotnik continues, "I guess I may have to pay him a visit."
Dr. Robotnik continues, "Robots!!! please escort these people to a room."
Cable Guy watching from the window quickly gets back to his van. He decides to follow Dr. Robotnik who isn't using a portal to travel. He is using his floating vehicle to pursuit The Riddler. Despite the limited information, he quickly figured out who that man was. He sets a course to his hideout that's at an island.
Cable Guy quickly realizes as soon as he saw water. He had to swim not knowing how far out he had to go. But considering Dr. Robotnik and his robots aren't paying attention close by beneath them. He simply kept swimming while following Dr. Robotnik. After all, he wanted to save Steven from the mad doctor.
Probably a good time to mention Cable Guy ran out of gas a few miles before he saw water. He had to push the van by himself. The only way he knew which direction Dr. Robotnik was heading. He used a side mirror of his van. He quickly determine he's flying North from Gotham City. In his mind, nothing was more important than saving Steven.
Two Face was currently facing off with Batman. Robin being difficult because Two Face murdered his family. Knuckles was busy facing Sonic again somewhere in the world. The Riddler quickly gets notify about invaders on the island. The Riddler prepares to attack using the Giant Box as a weapon.
At the same time, Cable Guy quickly becomes aware of several henchmen in the water. Not to mention bombs placed nearby the island. Cable Guy had a more difficult time due to doing this alone with the long swimming section. He was still very determine to save Steven. Somehow Dr. Robotnik doesn't notice all of that going on beneath the water.
Dr. Robotnik flies directly to the top of the place. Cable Guy had to go in the alternative way that had a death trap. The long elevator with the floor that drops with spikes in the water. Cable Guy had to get quite creative to survive this trap. Luckily he had a lot of cables on him to help pull himself upwards.
He also brought his toolbox to disconnect the platform. He also knew if he didn't correctly position himself, he would fall to a watery grave. He was so determined to use a hammer to bust out lights to prevent getting blinded by em. He had a saw to cut a giant piece of metal off. He had enough cables to tie it tightly to allow it to drop while pulling himself upwards faster.
Surprisingly Dr. Robotnik and Cable Guy arrived at the top at the same exact time. The Riddler jumps down from his throne to confront Dr. Robotnik. But Cable Guy steps in, "Well I had it with you both!!!"
Cable Guy continues, "I came here to save Steven."
Cable Guy continues, "Also your Box sir sucks!!!"
Cable Guy continues, "Doctor your technology isn't impressive either."
Dr. Robotnik replies, "I got a robot army yet you aren't afraid maybe you're too stupid to understand."
Cable Guy replies, "Maybe you are the stupid one, didn't you lose to a hedgehog!!!"
The Riddler laughs, "You're both pathetic haha."
Dr. Robotnik replies, "You seem to be all alone, I think you're the most pathetic."
Cable Guy replies, "You dress up with question marks and you why everything eggs with you?"
The Riddler replies, "What's wrong with the question marks?"
Dr. Robotnik replies, "You probably not get it why do you even care?"
Cable Guy replies, "At least I'm the original one!!!"
Dr. Robotnik replies, "The original one, you're just a cable guy oh scary."
Dr. Robotnik continues, "I bet you give people half for your terrible services."
Cable Guy replies, "How dare you!!!"
The Riddler jumps in, "Both of you knock it off!!!"
The Riddler continues, "It's obvious we're all obsessed with technology."
The Riddler continues, "Why shouldn't we team up?"
Dr. Robotnik replies, "I'm my own boss I don't serve anyone!!!"
Cable Guy replies, "I serve many customers, I rather be in that boat than in a partnership."
Dr. Robotnik replies, "He couldn't do it because he already has a partner!!!"
Cable Guy replies, "Wait what?"
The Riddler replies, "Oh you saw through my deception haha."
The Riddler continues, "I do indeed have a partner, he should be any moment now!!!"
Dr. Robotnik replies, "I could say the same for Agent Stone and Knuckles but I trust machines!!!"
Cable Guy replies, "Compared to me, both of you are beneath my technology skills."
The Riddler replies, "I'm stealing brain waves from Gotham City that's a smart plan."
Dr. Robotnik replies, "Well I'm planning to steal the Master Emerald to conquer the world."
Dr. Robotnik continues, "Sadly only an echidna knows it's location."
Both Cable Guy and The Riddler laughs hard.
Cable Guy says, "Hold on an echidna knows where a Master Emerald is? HAHA.
The Riddler says, "Doctor you literately loss your marbles."
The Riddler continues, "You loss to a hedgehog now this!!!"
The Riddler continues, "You're better off working in a super market giving people half off."
Dr. Robotnik replies," I'm done being nice!!!
Dr. Robotnik continues, "How does it feel to be out smarted by a man dressed up as a bat?"
Cable Guy says, "Don't worry Steven I'm coming to rescue you!!!"
The Riddler says, "Riddle me this Eggman!!! Why does one become an egg? Don't they break easily?
The Riddler continues, "Also riddle me this Cable Guy!!! Why all the wires? Aren't you afraid to get tingled like in a spider's web?
Cable Guy replies, "Well I got enough to tie both of you up."
Dr. Robotnik replies, "I highly doubt it!!!"
The Riddler replies, "What makes you think that?"
Cable Guy continues, "Hey Eggman, here's a screw diver to fix that screw that gotten loosen in your head!!!"
Cable Guy continues, "I got my tools I could do anything!!!"
The Riddler replies, "All of a sudden let's get nuts!!! makes sense now what a world we live in."
Dr. Robotnik replies, "I would've been surprise but I was expecting this and that so it doesn't count."
Cable Guy throws a wrench at Dr. Robotnik's face.
Dr. Robotnik says, "Oh that hurts!!! I'll make you pay for that!!!"
The Riddler says as he's laughing at the wrench thrown at Dr. Robotnik.
"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball haha."
Dr. Robotnik loses it with these two in the same room. What seem like centuries, a three way fight about to occur on an island far away from Gotham City. One of them could win but other factors could come into play. Which also means none of them wins is a strong possibility too. Regardless of the outcome, I'm sure I would've gotten my popcorn with one of my favorite drinks to watch.
I basically combined the plots of Batman Forever, The Cable Guy and Sonic the Hedgehog 2 together. I am not sure how good of a job I done in doing that. This turned out to be one of the most fun blogs I written in a long time. I should consider doing this a little more often. I highly doubt the man himself Jim Carrey would read this joke fight scenario, it would mean a lot to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment