For the record, I checked the internet I'm the one who started this joke fight hahaha.
If you wanna see my trailer here's the link down below...
Other joke fights I'm currently supporting as they followed...
1. The Postal Dude (Postal series) vs Conker the Squirrel (Conker series)
2. Ernie the Giant Chicken (Family Guy) vs AVGN Bugs Bunny (AVGN)
I also predicted both those fights in videos too.
The Postal Dude vs Conker
Ernie the Giant Chicken vs AVGN Bugs Bunny
I also recently made a connection blog between The Postal Dude and Conker as well
Today I will do a joke concept I don't think a lot of people considered doing for a fight prediction. Which is exactly why I had to make that trailer in the first place. Most joke fights have factors that make them kinda silly or flat out ridiculous to a degree. It's no secret the web show loves joke fights with an passion. What if we covered two characters whose entire parody games didn't actually happened?
UnMetal is a parody of 80s action movies as well as Metal Gear games on MSX2 computer. Abobo's Big Adventure is a huge mess up of NES video games rolled into one crazy flash game. Jesse's huge lie to get laid & Abobo's dream makes this a rather interesting topic. Obviously canon wise, we got more to go on with Abobo.
Let's say we are going to consider all that crazy stuff that never happened in the first place instead? This actually turns into a somewhat fun fight to discuss. Maybe this concept is a little too outside the box. Considering we are now in 2023, I felt such concepts needed to be explored. Even if I have to become the Guinea Pig for this myself.
Let's say we are going to consider all that crazy stuff that never happened in the first place instead? This actually turns into a somewhat fun fight to discuss. Maybe this concept is a little too outside the box. Considering we are now in 2023, I felt such concepts needed to be explored. Even if I have to become the Guinea Pig for this myself.
Also I got so much to cover I don't think I could do this enough justice in a video prediction. Trust me, I tried with some difficult fights. Only here you're going to get the full experience like it or not. Hey I did write that so maybe I'm some sort of genius after all lol.
Jesse Fox
Jesse got arrested for a crime he didn't commit. He took on an army that's involved with Operation Jericho. He also had to survive some weird situations that can't be explained. Somehow Fox found a way to do so.
You wish it was the wrestler Chris Jericho didn't you?
Abobo
Usually a henchman in Double Dragon series. Abobo is one of the most recurring enemies the brothers faces. In his own game, he goes through a rather crazy adventure. Let's just say not even he can believe what's going on.
I cut those short because I don't wanna ruin the surprise coming up soon. I hope it's a good enough description to help hold you over like giant sea creatures in underwater levels.
Powers, Arsenal and Abilities
Jesse Fox
+Slightly stronger than a normal man
+Faster than a normal man
+Tougher than a normal man
+Standard arsenal
+Repaired flame thrower
+Bulletproof vest
+Medkits
+Coins
+Strings
+A slingshot
+Experienced vehicle driver
+Useless junk
+Some chemicals
Abobo
+Stronger than a normal man
+Slightly faster than a normal man
+Tougher than a normal man
+Uses whatever he finds in the environment as a weapon
+Somehow gains abilities for any situation he's in
In his defense, he isn't wearing a shirt. What if it's winter, Abobo would be freezing his balls off.
Advantages
Jesse Fox
+Smarter
+More victories
+More reliable arsenal
+Faster
+Could cheat victory by telling the fight in a story
Shut up it's a real power!!!
+Could hold a lot of Medkits to prolong the fight
+More experience with using vehicles
+Strategist
+Survive the maze
"I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy!!!"
+Uses the environment to hide
+A lot of ammo depending on particular decisions
+Could have access to camouflage ability making him virtually invisible in some angles
+Some decisions notable change things for him
+More experienced taking on vehicles
+Doesn't get upset as easily
Abobo
+Tougher
+More ridiculous powers
+Bigger
Not in that sense you sick bastards!!! I meant height god that isn't going to go away anytime soon.
+Stronger
+Packs more powerful punches
+More used to fighting without protection
Oh come on it's not that either guys!!!
+More game appearances
Yes I went there so what?
+More likely to not back down from an challenge
+Survived the Battletoads
Yes it actually happened once, I swear I'm not licking toads either.
+Potentially the more powerful being
+Survived more game play variety
Yes that's a power too you wanna keep going?
+Took on a bigger variety of enemies
+Defeated bigger enemies too
We aren't comparing their dick sizes, you guys are the worst!!!
+More determined out of the two
+People have some control over lies
Now I know what we all are thinking, you are exactly right this time hahaha.
Disadvantages
Jesse Fox
-Outside his huge lie barely has much to go on
-Abobo can stop Medkits from healing him
-Potentially could lose places to hide during a fight
-Prefers other methods rather than using his fists in situations
-Vehicles are only used in particular situations
-Some choices doesn't work in Fox's favor either
-Flamethrower could break or explode killing him in the process
-Isn't as determined as Abobo
Isn't choices fun kids?
-Isn't used to dealing with someone inside a dream
-Relies more on his arsenal
-Rather confusing mixing in a huge lie with a dream logic
Let's be honest the two do not mix. It's like comparing experiencing an acid trip to getting hypnotize. It just doesn't make sense!!!
Abobo
-Outside his dream usually loses to the heroes often
-Abobo's additional powers are situation based
-Lacks actual protection
-Much smaller arsenal excluding his powers
-Dumber
-Could lose because Jesse telling the fight in a story to his advantage
-Isn't used to dealing with stealth characters
-Could get over whelmed by Jesse's arsenal
-Could get tricked by Jesse too
-Without some of his additional powers couldn't go further in his own dream
-You question his state of mind after seeing the full dream
If you aren't something is seriously wrong with you.
-Lacks vehicle skills
-Fox defeated smarter enemies too
-Could get angrier faster
-Can't control his dream
Weaknesses
Regularly I would break those down too. Considering these characters are pulled from a parody game where their respective events didn't actually happen. I felt there's no real need to cover their weaknesses. Sure I could do that but it just bags more questions than actual answers.
Verdict
Jesse Fox
Wait what? I thought it was going to be Abobo!!!
Calm down there's a few great reasons why Jesse Fox wins this fight. Despite other factors that among a first look appears to be a stomp in favor of Abobo.
If we were to stick with what actually happened. Abobo in canon was a recurring henchman that kept getting defeated by Billy & Jimmy. Sometimes by other characters including a crossover with Rare's Battletoads. He actually lacks a canon victory. In his fan flash game, he usually wins most of his fights. In vice versa, there's virtually little to nothing to go on regardless Jesse Fox himself.
Canon wise, I would have no choice but give the fight to Abobo on those grounds. For the actual joke concept itself or non canon as many people would say. This is a rather interesting fight for parody video game characters. Yes technically Abobo would stomp in stats here. Some of that comes with it's own baggage.
Again guys it's not that!!!
For starters, Jesse had to use certain vehicles for particular situations. Majority of Abobo's additional powers also works for particular situations. For example, we could made this into an underwater fight. Except both characters would get penalized from attempting the concept. Therefore, we can't actually do that concept under fairness.
Yes I'm not about to compare whose defeated a bigger sea creature either contest, not a dick contest.
It's no secret, Abobo isn't very bright either. He kept getting defeated by the same two brothers repeatedly. In this fan flash game, Abobo has some intelligence. Look I'm not calling him an idiot. It still doesn't compare to Jesse's wits as well as changing strategies on the fly. I know trying to bridge a huge lie with a dream is a bad idea.
I will confirm this version of Abobo is smarter than the usual canon video game character. Sadly not by much though, still smarter than a Goomba!!!
Maury gives us a quick lie detector test.
Maury said, "Did you Jesse escape from an military base? Our lie detector determined that was a lie."
Maury said, "Did you Jesse defeat a nuclear submarine?" Our lie detector determined that was a lie."
Maury said, "Did you Jesse came up with a huge lie to get laid with a woman?" Our lie detector determined that was a lie."
A dream could have good or bad endings that isn't even decided by the person having those very dreams. A huge lie however is something people have some control over. Especially true in Jesse's case because he can alter things to his advantage in his own story. Of course, some decisions doesn't actually help him out with one particular choice killing him.
The entire point is Abobo lacks a counter to this. Which means Abobo at any given time could be defeated by Jesse simply changing the story. It seems cheap actually more so than Abobo in beat em up games for that matter. Yes Abobo would be more tedious out of the two. Some of his additional powers would be regularly overkill for Fox to survive.
Abobo also needs time as well as scoring enough blows on Fox to charge up his bigger attacks. Which also plays under situation based scenarios. Abobo isn't used to dealing with a stealth character. Sure Abobo could remove particular stuff Fox could hide nearby during a fight. Thus removing spots to hide but there's a chance Fox could use his camouflage ability.
This ability allows him to quickly turn invisible while hiding. Also Jesse has more weapons on him by default that quickly puts Abobo at a disadvantage. Not to mention, Jesse is faster on foot making getting his charge for the bigger moves not possible either. Sure Abobo defeated a bigger variety of enemies. You also need to realize both were heavily parodying the 80s differently.
Abobo's Big Adventure was more of a huge mesh up of NES video game characters. UnMetal was heavily inspired by 80s action films as well as Metal Gear games on MSX2 in Japan. The original Metal Gear with it's NES game came out in the late 80s. Basically Abobo represents variety among games for a particular game console while Jesse represents action films as well as stealth.
Abobo is directly a parody of himself while Jesse more of a parody of Solid Snake from those Metal Gear games. Jesse also could heal faster in general or using a Medikit faster. He can't have both of those abilities. He also could gain holding up to 10 Medkits. Sadly Abobo can easily prevent him from healing.
Then again Abobo himself lacks methods to heal by default. Obviously ridiculous stuff happens in both games. Abobo survived a bigger variety of situations while Jesse had an upgrade system. A major factor Abobo himself also lacks. Jesse also directly fought a tank on his own too. It's also worth noting General X stated to know everything Jesse was going to do.
A major antagonist that knows everything our hero could do oh no. Let's be honest both major antagonists fought dirty but still lost. Jesse defeated a man who predicted virtually every move he does. It trumps a drugged up Little Mac oh sorry Big Mac in comparison. By now you are starting to see how Abobo loses this fight.
A fight he could've easily won if he had more direct access to those additional powers right off the bat. Abobo is more about overpowering his enemies, heavily represented in this fan flash game. Not the best idea against a guy who can alter the story to his advantage at any given time!!! Sure Abobo did slam the Amazon with enough force for a nuke despite destroying only one building with the force.
Which also trumps the fire power Jesse has in comparison. Then again Abobo allowed four wrestlers to do stuff to The Amazon before he finished him off. The big problem is most of what Abobo has going for him takes time as well as landing blows to make happen. Which isn't even an issue for Jesse. I just felt Abobo with his advantages is doomed to lose this fight.
Winner: Jesse Fox (UnMetal)
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