This will be a lengthy blog entry.
One Saints Row related thing, mid January I gotten an 100% completion in Saints Row: The Third Remastered a second time. But overall being my fifth across both versions of the same game.
I also wanna say Thank You Volition for making these games. Regardless what criticisms you're about to receive, I'm still a fan of the franchise. Also I officially gotten an 100% completion in this game three times. Maybe I should earn an medal or something for putting up with the game that much. Who really knows but I will try to cover virtually everything about the actual game as I possibly can.
Story
Story wise it's the shortest, worst, most boring and lacks essential stuff to make an impact. The story takes place sometime after Saints Row IV, it is Kenzie's birthday. The Saints decides to play with an Ouija board. This led to Playa, their boss getting sent into a portal that's connected to Hell. Both Gat & Kenzie decided to go to Hell to rescue their boss.
Oh okay I got a lot of problems with just the opening cutscene to the game. First off why would Zinyak had an Ouija board? Second, why would Kenzie play with one on her birthday? Isn't there better things she could've done on the ship? Third, you would expect Playa to do something to prevent getting sent through a portal.
Also Kenzie uses this as an excuse to go to Hell. Yeah just because this happened on her birthday, she forces Johnny to take her to Hell with him. As much I'm happy to finally play as both characters. I hate to say there's a lot of major issues that prevents this being a decent Saints Row game. You might have a good time but most people rather go play something else which I recommend in this case.
We actually can start with the first person that allies with them. Now take a guess who it is waiting for you in Hell? Would you ever guess Dane Vogel? The same guy who ran Ultor up to his death. Who got killed by Gat very late SR2 from getting pushed out a window of a tall building. A man who looks, acts and sounds like Jack Frost from Santa Clause 3.
I wouldn't trust him, I rather see him suffer. Whatever, Vogel points out some strategies in order to piss off the Devil. Obviously the Devil is the main antagonist of the game. They got to recruit some famous faces to their cause. Let's do a roll call we have Vlad Tepes, Blackbeard, William Shakespeare and the sisters from Saints Row: The Third.
This alone bags a lot of questions with not enough answers. First off why would both Vlad and Blackbeard help you? Vlad was considered a monster to his enemies. A man widely known for impaling them on spears. The very person was direct inspiration for the fictional vampire Count Dracula. Blackbeard is a famous pirate from the golden pirate era.
A man hated by members of his own crew that led to his demise. Would you trust a pirate? No most of them in that era were selfish with Blackbeard being one of the biggest names among them. I do have to explain a little more on the sisters Viola & Kiki. Kiki got killed during an argument with Killbane. Which led to her sister Viola joining the Saints true story.
Sadly Viola died when Zinyak blew up the Earth. Yet the sisters didn't wanna work with you despite demons coming after everyone. Eventually they join the cause to take the fight to Satan. Such stories as Hamlet and Romero & Juliet that's still getting plays based on to this very day. These classics were written by Shakespeare.
Why would he even be in the game? Also when you go to recruit him, he's a DJ? I guess he has to bust a few beats. The actual campaign if you remove everything else is surprisingly shorter than expected. Oh wait, it gets worst within a few hours in. Keep in mind, the other games didn't do this so why all of a sudden do it here?
At a point, the game will rush things by throwing out rescue missions including Vogel. Sadly, there's slight changes making all of them felt repetitive in design alone. I should point out some previous enemies like Killbane does cameo in a cutscene confirming he's dead as well as in Hell. They missed a major opportunity to make the game more rememberable.
Yes I know some missions in SRIV, they recreated particular situations from the first three SR games. This could've been better with the actual villains. Yet they are simply pushed to the side. So why even confirm they're in the game if you never had plans to fully bring them in? The final mission is hands down the worst as well as shortest in the series to date.
It's just a boss fight with the Devil with such a lackluster design. He will summon demons as well as seem like appearing at a few spots at once. Of course, you know one of these is the real Devil. There really isn't much more to directly say about it. Most boss fights, yes there are boss fights in this series is notably better.
Considering this was a stand alone expansion to SRIV. This was a major set down from Zinyak's boss fight. It doesn't even come close to that!!! Virtually that was the perfect boss fight to end an series on. Gat defeats the Devil not kill him because he submits. Yes you heard me correctly the Devil submits to a human!!!
A being that's been around for several millennia surrenders to Johnny Gat. Don't worry we're about to get to the monkey wrench. Both Playa and Kenzie gets sent back to the ship while God personally took Gat. He offers five options as a reward for defeating the Devil. Satan planned to have Playa married his daughter since his army gotten much bigger because of Zinyak blew up the Earth.
Afterwards, the Devil was going to storm Heaven. Confirmed by God, the Devil would've won. Yes the very reason Playa got kidnapped was to being forced into marrying the Devil's daughter. Playa is very notably absent in the game itself. You would expect Playa would do something but nope. Somehow the Devil has done what no one else couldn't.
He was able to contain Playa from fighting back. Which does bag questions especially if you are a big fan of the series. Yes the Saints have done some bad stuff. However considering their enemies, they were the good guys. In fact, the 3rd Saints were originally founded to stop the actions of three gangs. Then Vogel got taken down by the Saints Hans Gruber style after another three gangs.
The main antagonists in the first two games weren't leaders of gangs. We had people in power that ultimately would've made things much worst. If the Saints didn't take action against them. The Saints were mostly decent people considered to the monsters who ran the rival gangs. If anything getting those people off the streets saved a lot of lifes in the long run.
Eventually they took on the Syndicate made up of three gangs. They also faced a military unit named STAG. Killbane was the last leader of the Syndicate chose to run away while STAG got ordered out of the city. Of course you know what happened next? Zinyak conquered Earth enslaving the humans like The Matrix franchise.
At one point in anger, Zinyak blows up the Earth. Playa does kill Zinyak to take over his Zin empire. There's plenty of clear proof the Saints aren't that bad the Devil made them out to be. I also got to point out most their enemies got taken out by more people. Yet two members of the Saints with help from those in Hell took down the Devil!!!
You would expect Hell to be among the toughest the Saints ever faced. This is ridiculous logic but moving on. Going back to the five endings, yes there's five endings you can choose from. Before I break all of them down, what was the most endings they previously given you? If you guessed two then you are correct.
The final mission is replayable you can select another ending. Considering how they went about it. How about you let us done just one ending but have access to all of them in another feature? Why should I replay the same boss fight just to see another ending or two? Oh okay let's cover what's involve with all five endings here.
Ending 1: Gat gets to know all the secrets of the universe
Ending 2: Gat becomes the new ruler of Hell
Ending 3: Gat goes to Heaven to be with Aisha
Ending 4: The Saints finds a new home
Ending 5: An universe reset
I highly doubt Gat would wanna know the secrets of the universe. However the other four endings do seem like difficult choices he may choose. Sadly Kenzie fans, she isn't present in the endings neither given her own endings. A major missed opportunity if you ask me. Not only that it's being highly implied Gat might've chosen the universe reset option.
For those that doesn't know what an universe reset is. Imagine what was your universe suddenly ended. Then a brand new one ends up taking it's place. Essentially making the original series no longer exist. This kinda felt like the worst option to me. At the same time, some good might come from it as well. This also means Gat never gets to see Aisha again period.
This ruin how they chosen to end the original series. I do need to point out the same option may also triggered Agents of Mayhem universe as well. Which does have some ties to Saints Row series. It is confirmed to not actually be an Saints Row game. At least, the canon each of them were given makes sense.
Also if all of this were a simulation, then nothing major would've changed. Sadly this actually happened outside simulations. This was a major slap to the fact to everyone. Yes I do need everyone in general. There is a surprise cutscene for getting an 100% completion but that's it. Well it's something at least so I'll take it.
Vehicles
There is a surprisingly low vehicle amount in the game. Ambulances are replaced by Rambulances because the Devil thought it was hilarious those ram into people. Comets are small cars that at random will start to explode, a few challenges as well as an achievement/trophy involves them. There is virtually no vehicle customization at all.
The weirdest thing is when you are driving around in vehicles. There's no radio but random NPCs in vehicles do why? I guess Hell can't reach the satellites lol. Most vehicles being so similar with a handful being just different enough to stand out. There's an armored vehicle you have to steal a few times for a challenge but no tanks.
Your playable characters
Neither Johnny & Kenzie can be customize. The only real exception which I'll cover more in detail later is theme within their powers that's it!!! A lot of powers from SRIV returns with some new ones replacing some of them. You can drive around in vehicles. You can use the gun vending machines since there's virtually no stores in Hell.
You get a lot of weapons, which also getting covered in full detail later. You can fully explore the map at your pace. Two particular powers moves way faster than most vehicles in this game. You can do Diversions, Activities and the challenges. It's a real shame for a franchise widely known for customization, this game really lacks it.
Map
This is the smallest, most boring, lifeless map they ever done. You would expect this to be among their finest, you would've been wrong. In this particular case, dead wrong. Of course, everything else you can do I previously mentioned. Also get use to seeing a lot of red because it's nearly everything in this game.
Weapons
Most of the weapons are similar to the previous weapons of the other SR games. There are some different ones mostly those based on the Seven Deadly Sins. DLC weapons are Lil' Croaker only in newer version & Skull, which isn't great. I will say I absolutely love it's appearance since I love Ghost Rider.
Gluttony has a few interesting functions. The default being this weapon fires pink icing out. This icing can cause enemies to be on fire, act as explosive weapon or enemies eat each other. Wrath is actually one of my favorite weapons in the series. It's a play on Ark of the Covenant you know like Raiders of the Lost Ark movie.
This gun can suck in enemies as well as act as an explosive weapon. Which can be increased to have more projectiles. Can you guess who is wielding this weapon in Hell? If you guessed Professor Genki you are right. Sadly this is all they done with the character. The previous two Saints Row games have plenty of Professor Genki related stuff.
To me that felt like an after thought. I do strongly agree they chosen the perfect person to wield Wrath. Lust is a Shotgun that causes anyone fires at to fall in love with you. In other words, even Archdukes won't fight back then dies from this gun. Envy is the trickiest of the seven to find. It is a huge flaming sword, now that's what I am talking about.
If you are going to do an Saints Row game in Hell, they better be a flaming sword. Pride is unusual since you have to keep killing rapidly to active it's Overkill mode that increases firepower. Greed is very important for a very particular reason. You may have notice not once I didn't mention any method to get money in the game.
Well that's the kicker this gun is sadly your best method at getting a lot of money. Be prepare to do a lot of rampaging for hours to max out all your weapons. Yes there's no going to your cribs since there's virtually none of them in Hell. There's no getting wired money at all too. So you are stuck with this money method regardless you want to or not since there is no cheat codes funny right?
I saved what might actually be my favorite comical weapon in the series. To me, the only joke I actually laugh when I found out about it. Here it is Sloth is a recliner chair with two Gatling gun as well as rockets when it opens up. This actually moves kinda like a vehicle but according to the game it's labeled as a weapon.
Honestly, this was beyond perfect for Sloth for the game. Easily, my favorite thing in that SR game hands down or should I say put my feet up? The weapons do get as op as in the previous two SR games. It's a better selection than you would expect while going in. Most of them are fun to use even the ones with notable differences.
Activities
There is a handful of activities in the game. Three of them are Hell variations of classic ones. Like Hellblazing is Trail Blazing mostly being done while flying. Torment Fraud would be that for Insurance Fraud or Fraud in SRIV respectively. Of course, there's Mayhem it's one of a very few activities along with Insurance Fraud in every SR game.
The new activity is called Salvation where you must fly around collecting souls for points. If they hit the ground or go too high up they disappear. I actually wanna talk about Torment Fraud for a very important reason. The game doesn't make it clear but there's actually three more playable characters. Yeah three older SR characters just for Torment Fraud activity alone.
Representing Easy is Tobias from the first two SR games. Next up representing Normal is Troy. An undercover cop later chief of police that was in the Saints gang for a time. Finally representing hard is Luz who got stuck between things when Carnales and Saints went at it. She hopes to one day be back with Manuel Orejuela.
This by itself represents not enough variety among the activities. Thus things quickly becomes boring after a while. Some of that variety is there in Diversions but even those don't help much. I will be covering those shortly. They didn't even spice up the old ones by much either. Honestly, this felt like another missed opportunity.
Diversions
We will start with a weird curve ball change, City Takeover. Unlike the previous SR games that offer this. You have to use this to continue the story. Basically pick any neighbor you wanna claim right off the bat. You also got to do Barnstorming which is mostly done through flying. Epic Flight Quest is similar to Epic Jump Quest from SRIV just a little trickier.
You got Chest, there's several chests around the map that requires three hidden sigils to unlock. Armor I partly talked about earlier involves stealing an armored vehicle to drive to the spot. This is as close the game gets to Chop Shop & Vehicle Theft respectively. Sadly you have to steal a certain amount of the same vehicle.
Which quickly becomes boring too. I rather have a variety of vehicles to go for here. Pledge Rush that ends up being my favorite among them. You have to hit enemies through goals within a time limit. This felt more like an activity to me. Revenge brings up some controversiality. You can kill Dex several times for an achievement/trophy.
Yes the same guy who left the Saints to end up as the new Head of Security for Ultor before running away. Dex even set up both Playa and Julius for an ambush. Which occurs in a secret story mission in SR2. There was a canceled SR game where you were suppose to kill Dex. Also in Corporate Warfare DLC, Playa stated they would find Dex then kill him.
Sadly Playa never found Dex in canon. What a slap to the face once again guys. Sometimes Dex is accompanied by demons and imps. Dex himself is rather easy to kill. Obviously that also felt like another missed opportunity. Especially those into Hitman, Assassination and Security Deletion. Keep in mind, majority of game play stuff is involved with the challenges.
Targets
There's five Marshalling Grounds where you gotta claim. Expect a lot of enemies here with one Archduke near the end of the process. Next up is similar in concept, four Extraction Facilities. You have to claim all three spots long enough to take the location over. Which can be tedious as well as repetitive at times.
Thirteen Survival you gotta fully complete. If you played the previous two SR games you already know what to do. Either timed or a certain amount of enemies to kill. You got to either survive or kill enough enemies to win. Then we have eight Altars that can be claimed. They do alter which powers to use for them.
Twenty Six Spires can be quite annoying while flying around the map. You have to shut these things down since they have homing projectiles. It's very tricky but you may pull off a projectile of your own taking theirs out. Mostly felt the same but not as good compared to SRIV. It actually kinda felt like I wasted my time.
Vehicles (Activities and Diversions)
There's three vehicle diversion in the game. Rampage you have to select it while driving a Predaceptor. This is the game's counterpart to Atlasbreaker. I already explained Rambulance earlier but it can be quite annoying to hit people though. Finally we get to my personal favorite (Sarcasm) Balls of Fire. I also previously talked about Comets.
Well you have to car surf on these. If you actually do so while it blows up that's an achievement/trophy. You just don't know when it'll blow up. Also you can't slow down since you're suppose to be constantly moving. Honestly, I rather car surf on other vehicles. Which you had to do in the two previous SR games.
Arcane Powers
The game's counterpart to Super Powers in SRIV. A lot of the same abilities while removing Telekinesis with Summon. Although additional Elements for Telekinesis is still present in the game. Aura replaces Buff but works incredibly similar. Let's be honest it likely was a simple renaming. Then again who really cares?
Don't forget about Flight, which will quickly become your main means of traveling. You don't run as nearly as fast as in SRIV but still faster than most vehicles. Your flight speed with all upgrades is the faster than the fastest flying vehicles in the franchise. However in this particular situation, I would've greatly prefer remove flight with aircrafts.
Aircrafts may or may not have weapons. Personally I'm directly comparing the ones with weapons even if it's just one weapon. You have more free angle to attack your enemies while traveling. Basically doing two things at once. In vice versa, if you see enemies while flying. You have to stop flying then quickly use your powers.
Then you have to either land or find a way to continue flying. Also you probably already knew this was coming. I greatly would've rather listen to the radio even commercials to cut some intention down a bit. Also I could count this as a missed opportunity on the count of they could've added in humor but didn't. Summon also replaces you calling up homies to help you.
Yes that's right you can't even do that. You can summon Imp, Tower and Titan (Archdukes) to help you out. Imps doesn't last long, easily the worst homies in the franchise. Towers are surprisingly effective in attacks tougher enemies. Of course, you gotta use Titan since you get the biggest demon available. Just one of this guy can mess up a lot of demons.
Conclusion
I won't cover the full upgrade set up since it's incredibly similar to the previous two SR games. Which I liked a lot to begin with. I will say this however a lot of missed opportunities strongly hurts this game. Even fewer amount of content, this would've been an DLC mission pack for SRIV. Even I say Enter the Dominatrix is way better than this!!!
Lacking customization, one of the biggest things it had over GTA was a terrible idea. The story was too short, messy and bagged too many questions with not enough answers. Especially with the five endings situation they caused. Lacking radio by itself greatly affected the game's replay value too. In every possible way, this was a major set down from the previous SR games.
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