Nutcracker Massacre (2022) review

Hello everyone I'm XboxClown89, I finally got to see Nutcracker Massacre. A movie that's one of many attempts to cash in on Chucky. We can consider this as the Russian Chucky film. It was originally a low budget Russian horror movie that got English dub for the United States version. Sadly I don't got many positives to say other than you can watch it for free on Tubi.

Nutcracker Massacre (2022)

This is a Christmas horror movie that centers on a family celebrating the holiday. Two unusual nutcrackers caused murders, it's not a good story nor gets told well either. Which also can affect the story's impaction in the long run. The main killer nutcracker is human sized. Personally I would prefer if the killer nutcracker being much smaller.

Simply making the killer nutcracker tall not only loses the appeal. It also effectively removes any chances of the movie being somewhat scary. I seen a lot of killer toy movies to know this is easily among the worst of them. Like Chucky series, the killer is possessing a nutcracker. Unlike Chucky, he never speaks at all.

This could be seen as either a good or bad thing depending on many Chucky rip offs. In this particular case I'm kinda glad he doesn't speak. I could only imagine how terrible his lines could've been. I will be honest Clown Doll is a better movie than this. Yes it's more of a Chucky knock off than this.

The way the story was done with some of the kill scenes simply done better. Keep in mind, that's also a low budget horror movie too. I don't hate em folks, I'm kinda particular how I love low budget horror movies. Most kill scenes are meh at best. Even Jack Frost 2, a bad Christmas horror movie had more rememberable scenes as well as better overall acting.

You can tell a few times, they didn't properly dubbed the characters. The one kill that's kinda worth noting is literately below the belt. I'm not going to reveal how difficult it was to watch. They got the guts to do something like this. The back story to the two nutcrackers gets revealed by an antique toy store owner.

In my opinion, the most rememberable character of the movie. The character just surprisingly works when everyone else including the killer kinda bland and generic at best. It's so low budget you don't see one person getting killed off. Not to mention, this vicious facial emotion that we never see animated.

It partly works but not showing us that effect kinda ruins the appeal too. A little weird pacing considering we see the same delivery man for some weird reason murdered twice. I felt just removing the first time it's shown would've helped the movie a little bit. I'm not as disappointed as in seeing The Mean One.

Then again The Mean One had a few things over this making that the better Christmas horror movie. You know you suck horribly when the famous bad Jack Frost surprisingly better. Obviously I seen a lot of Christmas movies both ways. This one very quickly loses it's welcome. The cover I do like but that's not enough reason to watch it.

It's another movie the trailer turned out to be way better than the actual movie. Yeah you got beaten by your own trailer is kinda embarrassing. Nutcracker Massacre is also one of the worst horror movies with Massacre in the title. Even The Clown Chainsaw Massacre and The Bunnyman Massacre had better everything else despite not being great themselves.

Nutcracker Massacre was a massacre alright!!! It wastes your time from start to finish. There's some parts of the movie that's a little tricky to hear. Obviously they didn't properly level up the audio. They used a handful of locations which was fine. What isn't fine though is I did expect a lot more than what we actually gotten here.

Not only you rather watch Chucky or any decent killer toy movies over this. It just doesn't make nutcrackers scary in any possible way. Which was essentially the entire point of the movie. I'm even amazed this made it over seas into the United States. Even Santa's Slay with wrestler Goldberg way better than this!!!

I know there's several killer Santa movies. Santa's Slay differs itself enough to stand out a little bit. In virtually every possible that movie blows Nutcracker Massacre away. There's no comparison, I rather see this evil Santa slaughtering people in rather questionable ways than this. Even the Gingerdead Man movies has something rememberable about em.

Yes Gingerdead is a famous knock off of Chucky. So was Jack Frost, who I kept comparing since both his movies are Christmas horror movies. You know you blow incredibly hard when you're easily out done by a possessed gingerbread man as well as a mutated snowman. This movie is simply a massive disappointment that won't make anyone happy, surprisingly boring too.

Let's discuss Chucky

Warning this will be a lengthy blog post, please take as much time needed to finish reading.

Hello everyone I'm XboxClown89, It's been awhile since I got to talk about one of my favorite slasher villains ever!!! Considering I got three topics involving Chucky. Let's do this multiple Chucky posts in one deal. You already know I'm going to have a lot of fun with this. Honestly, it's about to be one hell of a party in here!!!

Topic 1

Chucky and Slappy comparison (more recent shows)

Spoilers for both shows if you continue reading on or skip to Topic 2 to avoid em altogether.

To clarify this isn't going to be a full comparison of both villains. I originally planned to do a follow up comparison video on this topic. Due to my video editor program no longer working, I don't know why. I should directly compare stuff both of them including the new Goosebumps show. Let's say the similarities I'm about to go into are quite strikingly indeed.

Chucky with Jake back in season 1 of Chucky show. The two ended up doing an insult show towards Lexy. On the new Goosebumps show during a flash back, Harold with Slappy insults a few students on stage in a similar matter. Chucky in Cult of Chucky directly possessed Nica. Slappy possesses two people mostly a teacher, Nathan Bratt.

In both shows, high school students are getting terrorized by them. Obviously to a degree, parts of that occurs at their schools. Both manipulated people to a degree to get what they want. Mostly a few family members that ultimately turned against em. We also see flash backs of them being humans before becoming possessed doll/dummy.

Obviously both are skilled magic users despite being vastly different magic styles. They also made the characters think they're defeat. Let's be honest, Chucky dies a lot on the show there's no hiding that. Slappy later possessed one of the high school students the stories follow. Both planned to do horrible things as their end goal.

Slappy turned a lot of people into human sized dummies. He was going to force em get burnt alive at a particular location close by each other. Chucky had several end goals that doesn't works in his favor much. Like he attempted to make someone else into a killer or a surprise Christmas massacre.

Which was better than Nutcracker Massacre, I'm preparing a review of that soon. Back to these two iconic villain characters. Slappy manipulate the spirit of Harold for his own amusement. Both these stories involves revenge to a degree. Despite Chucky does have a grudge with those students, Harold was tricked into thinking that.

It was later revealed it turned out Slappy not his former friends were responsible for his death. Before that, Slappy manipulated Harold into turning both his parents into dummies. Chucky manipulated Jake's cousin Junior into killing his father. Slappy on this Goosebumps show was almost Chucky no joke. This made the character more evil than he was in anything else Goosebumps related.

Both shows confirmed both these characters are evil in every sense of the word. I always wanted to see these two characters face each other especially on Death Battle. Last I checked, it's their biggest request to date. Even some stuff Slappy said on the show was strikingly similar to what Chucky would say himself.

I also need to point they are going to change Goosebumps show to an horror anthology show. Which also means they may not continue the story of season 1. Chucky show is essentially Chucky 8 excluding Child's Play remake. They are making another Chucky movie that could suggest a few things. Like season 3 of Chucky show might be the last or somehow parts of season 4 being in the movie.

You know as a better way to tie things together. Some shows does stuff like this that I felt is a little unnecessary. These shows really made those characters even more alike than anyone ever thought. Even I confess I almost mistaken Slappy for Chucky at times. I'm not trying to start anything with Goosebumps show, it's incredibly notable what they done with Slappy.

Topic 2

Chucky vs Freddy movie pitch

On and off, Don Mancini whose created Chucky threw out some ideas for future possible movies. Mostly crossovers with other characters. For some reason, a lot of people wants Chucky to crossover with both M3gan and Annabelle. Going by a video I made, I don't think either of those ideas would work for similar reasons I stated there.

There's the more comical Chucky in Space pitch. We already have other horror icons in space. Jason X brought Jason Voorhees to space, The Cenobites in Hellraiser: Bloodline brought hell to space. Although there actually is a similar movie nick named Hellraiser in space by people. Event Horizon for anyone wondering which movie.

Hellraiser: Bloodline predates Event Horizon by over a year. There's also Leprechaun 4: In Space, it's not great. There's a few moments I do sorta enjoy rewatching. Which makes it a better movie than Leprechaun: Origins. Also say it with me, It's not a Leprechaun Movie!!! I actually seen a even worst attempt on the concept with Dracula 3000.

Yes even Dracula somehow gotten a similar movie that's terrible. I can't say a single good thing about it. I don't mind aliens coming to Earth or other planets. At the same time, Jason X being the best among them surprisingly. This concept mostly doesn't work at all. Then again they recently gotten Chucky inside the White House on the show.

I personally felt a share commercial might be the only way to make it work. A movie or a few episodes on the show simply doomed to fail. However none of those are the one pitch I came here to discuss. Yeah get ready to wrap your head around this one. A pitch if it ever happened I actually would drop everything to watch it on the spot.

Don himself really wants to do a crossover movie with Chucky and Freddy. Yeah two of my favorite slasher villains ever in either a movie or on the Chucky show would be sweet. The closest to this level of excitement actually was a crossover commercial with Michael Myers. Yes Chucky for a few seconds talks to Michael Myers in a commercial was mind blowing to me.

I haven't felt like that ever since Freddy vs. Jason movie. Before I dive into this particular pitch. There's a few failed similar ideas I personally can't believe were planned to end up getting canceled. Michael nearly fought Pinhead is already wtf!!! You are putting the usual slasher villain against a demon like that.

They actually allowed the voters to decide to make the movie or not. Majority voted against the idea, a great idea since it couldn't work at all. They are way too different to make it work. At least with Freddy and Jason, they had some similarities to better tie into the crossover movie. I also aware there's a few sequel comic book series to that movie with Ash from Evil Dead series.

Michael at one point was considered for a follow up to Freddy vs. Jason. There's even worst movie pitch that more recently becoming known on the internet. Leprechaun vs. Candyman, I am dead serious. It's not clear why they wanted to do these two against each other. Partly one of Leprechaun in the Hood movies was the result of that crossover not happening.

Leprechaun franchise is one of those franchises stuck after a few reboot attempts. There's a new one in the works, let's hope it's a good or at least more faithful than Leprechaun: Origins. Pinhead in a planned ending for Freddy vs. Jason would've interrupted the two fighting each other. It's kinda sad such an ending never fully materialize.

Me actually discussing Freddy vs. Chucky pitch.

Alright you may not wanna hear all of that. Let's get to what you really wanna hear me talk about. I actually think Freddy vs. Chucky could work wonders. Personally I rather have Chucky vs. Leprechaun that surprisingly never got considered for a movie true story. Both these villains have some strong similarities.

Both were serial murders that died then became something worst. They got powers with Chucky having magic while Freddy can manipulate the dream world like a God. Both got defeated by their children in a criticized sequel movie no less. Both stalked later killed a few high school students. Both wore striped clothing to a degree.

Their personalities are similar enough with both throwing out one liners at times. Which brings me to another strong similarities. Both started out being terrifying to end up getting too comical later on. Mostly Seed of Chucky and Freddy's Dead respectively. Although done differently both can split up into multiple bodies.

Even death is a small issue for these two. Freddy may debut a few years before Chucky. But Chucky actually gotten a bigger body count. Well the bigger confirmed body count since Freddy goes after people in their dreams. I will be honest I did compare season 2 of Chucky to A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 awhile back.

If you wanna read that blog comparison just click on the link below...

https://jackred1989.blogspot.com/2023/06/did-chucky-season-2-rip-off-nightmare.html

There's a lot of interesting possibilities they could do with such a concept. Chucky stalking a group of people plus adding in Freddy doing the same could be essentially a bad situation. Either they stay up long enough to get done in by Chucky or fall asleep risking never waking up again. Yes you could say that previously done that with Freddy vs. Jason.

This will be different because Jason isn't bright. These two are smarter than a lot of people realize. Two vastly different supernatural slasher villains with a possible similar end goal. Eventually either by default, betrayal or they start a rivalry with each other. These two are going to face each other, things will quickly get ugly.

Also it kinda would be interesting to see how Freddy outside the dream world handles Chucky. Especially if there's multiple Chucky dolls waiting to ambush him. We could end up with a more brutal scene than his daughter finishing him off in Freddy's Dead. A confrontation easily could be guarantee to happen if both of them are stalking the same group of people.

Chucky never faced anyone in canon like Freddy before. In the dream world, Freddy fought people that used their dream powers against him. All of a sudden using magic might not be enough. Also it would be interesting how to torture a murder that died so many ways? Obviously Freddy could use more ridiculous ways to kill Chucky off that isn't possible in the real world.

The humor alone is already enough reason to want this crossover to happen. Not only that, two iconic slasher villains people really can't get enough. It's going to be amazingly well as a movie. If this were to happen on the Chucky show, there's factors working against it. I do think in the right hands, that season could easily be the greatest they ever done!!!

Topic 3

Chucky roasting other horror movies joke

This is the most recent Chucky topic I wanna discuss. On Episode 5 of Season 3, we see old Chucky watch TV. He quickly roasts a few similar movies to the franchise. First up to get roasted was The Boy. Followed by Dead Silence which I felt gotten a better insult. M3gan shows up with possibly the single funniest Chucky joke in history.

I previously seen two of these movies with M3gan being the only one I haven't watched yet. I felt I already stated why I don't like the idea of an actual crossover idea. Although, this roasting was well executed. I kinda felt the same about that movie myself. I love this moment so much I ended up making a few memes inspired by it.

Personally I felt Brahms: The Boy II kinda deserved to be roasted more than the original. Sadly I kinda have to spoil things to make a point here. The Boy up to a point makes you think the doll might be alive. It was later revealed Brahms didn't die in the fire. He secretly lived inside the walls of his parent's home for year.

Therefore, it's not quite a killer toy movie despite feeling like one up to that twist. Brahms: The Boy II changed everything to suddenly cash in on Chucky and Annabelle. Originally the doll was made for Brahms then the fire happened. Everyone including his parents lied about their son's death. The baby sitting of a doll was actually this mysterious man wanting to spend his life with the lady.

They changed it to multiple people had this possessed doll. Brahms just one of the people that owned the doll in question. Brahms didn't live as long in this new canon they established. The movie actually more directly ripping off Annabelle than Chucky. Considering Annabelle: Creation predates Brahms: The Boy II by rough three years, I say it's a rip off.

For anyone about to play "Oh The Boy came out before Annabelle card." The original Annabelle movie predates The Boy by over two years. If we were to consider The Conjuring that came out a year before Annabelle. Over three years since that's an ongoing movie franchise that's successful. On several accounts, The Boy franchise doesn't compare to either of those franchises.

Also I don't think The Boy deserved the roasting. Yeah it was kinda disappointing their attempt to spike things up worked against it. I still kinda liked the movie despite how much I dislike the sequel. I kinda felt Dead Silence was the best horror movie Chucky roasted here. It was a nice burn there's no question of that.

Chucky basically said the obvious when it came to Dead Silence. It didn't get a sequel, some horror movies works better without em. So it's up to debate where you stand on that statement. I kinda wish another movie that actually deserve the roasting taken it's place here. I am sorry Dead Silence didn't deserve to get roasted, it does just enough to differ itself from Chucky.

Dead Silence was actually a decent movie I enjoyed. I wouldn't mind a sequel if it's done right. It's more of a ghost movie but a great one at that. To me, M3gan essentially would be what Dolly Dearest was to the original Chucky in a nut shell. Regardless if they had similar ideas or actually rip off Chucky is somewhat debated.

M3gan on the verge getting an sequel. I just don't see the appeal of it. It just felt like let's take Child's Play remake gender swap a few characters then call it a day. I know some people felt this way towards a Ghostbusters movie. I never felt that towards the actual film. My real problem with it was they decided to attempt recreating the original in a way that just doesn't work.

I'm even amazed M3gan was surprise success. I kinda hope Chucky does another round of roasting horror movies in the near future. Hell Don you should get a Chucky marathon. Chucky on the air during commercials can roast more horror movies, people would deeply enjoy that. For a few minutes, the roasting was a surprising high light for the show.

I simply wanted more of it even if the later roasting ends up as a bonus video or episode. Both they could do but the focus is more towards the story they're telling. It was a clear distraction from what's going on. At the same time, it was easily one of my favorite Chucky moments ever. Just for fun I will be linking a few memes I made the day following the episode aired down below...

Annabelle

https://imgflip.com/i/8mf6tm

Dolly Dearest

https://imgflip.com/i/8mf7g8

Very surprised neither of them got roasted.

Brahms: The Boy II

https://imgflip.com/i/8mfi1h 

You knew this was coming. I felt my burnt on the sequel was better lol.

Nutcracker Massacre

https://imgflip.com/i/8mfjzq

I really can't wait to tear this movie apart lol.

This joke is very meme friendly, I absolute love it!!! I would love to see other people's memes on that joke. Feel free to hit me up for checking em out, I really would love to see your jokes. I waited for years to see Chucky do something like this. When it finally happened I'm almost speechless. It's not perfect but for what it is, I really enjoyed it.

Microsoft doesn't want Postal series rant

Warning this will be a lengthy blog post, please take as many breaks as needed thank you.

Hello everyone I'm XboxClown89, I kept noticing posts from Running with Scissors. The indie game company responsible for Postal series confirming several times. Microsoft doesn't want Postal series on Xbox consoles. I been thinking about this particular rant for months. Honestly, that by itself bags a lot of questions with not enough answers!!!

For starters what exactly is Postal series? Especially you may heard of em or never had before. Postal series is over the top, offensive, comical, multi genre games. I could name a lot of games on Xbox consoles that's similar to Postal series in some way. Maybe by the end of this rant you start seeing why the hell not put em on those consoles?

1. Conker's Bad Fur Day (both versions)

One of my first examples on this topic. Conker's Bad Fur Day has a lot of the same stuff going for it. Conker has some similarities with the Postal Dude. Some jokes can be seen as offensive as well. There's plenty of over the top comical moments including disgusting stuff. This is as close to Rare ever came to possibly making an Running with Scissors game.

It's even crazier both versions are on most Xbox consoles now. Conker's Bad Fur Day also had some ties to Playboy. The same also is true for Postal series. There's also a brief period being a different species. I know they allowed both versions since Microsoft owned Rare. Conker's Bad Fur Day and Postal 2 dramatically changed the course of their franchises into the direction their fans wanted.

A small section in Conker's Bad Fur Day a parody of a particular movie The Matrix. Postal 4 has a particular chore with beta testing a game while wearing an VR headset. They also face zombies later on their respective games. Not to mention, a hub world connects most of the locations together in presented as well.

A lot of the humor came from the main characters. They also had a famous terrorist group as enemies. Not only that both helped a lot of people through out their games doing some terrible stuff. I never said any of this was going to be pretty quite the opposite actually. I really would love some form of a crossover to happen too.

2. Saints Row series

Another great example is Saints Row series. The first two entries has a few jokes. From Saints Row: The Third to up ended up being more over the top, offensive, comical multi genre games. Some Postal game has a particular bow weapon not for the kids. Saints Row turned that concept into a bat that people won't shut up about.

Imagine Postal 2 or Postal 4 on a bigger scale. You basically would actually get Saints Row series. You do stuff for a lot of people similar to the Postal Dude does in Postal series. Not to mention Playa or The Boss are somewhat like the character too. At one point some of the Saints as well as the Postal Dude goes to Hell.

In most Saints Row games, you take everything over. In two Postal games with one being a secret ending has a similar concept. They also have a huge world to explore with mostly freedom to do whatever they want. You also have wanted levels you have a few ways to get rid of. There's also racing to a degree in em as well.

Despite Volition got buried, the franchise could eventually return. Which is indirectly similar to many attempts to follow up on Conker's Bad Fur Day that never fully materialized. The closest one being an dlc in another game Project Spark called Conker's Big Reunion. Also both had a famous bad game being Postal III and Young Conker respectively.

3. South Park series

Of course, I had to talk about South Park series. South Park is one of the longest running animated sitcoms ever. Which has majority of the check list Postal series had going for it. Despite being a vastly different game series from those of the Postal series. Everything else virtually identical in every other way. South Park has it's own long list of controversiality over the years.

In all honestly, these recent South Park games been successful. I am not sure about South Park: Snow Day! that recently came out. It's mind blowing some of the stuff they actually allowed in them. Yes they are on Xbox consoles further making me question why the hell not? South Park Funny enough predates Postal 1 by roughly an month.

It's true several game companies made South Park games. The original South Park game was a FPS game. Which is somewhat similar to Postal 2: Apocalypse Weekend. Also included in the more recently added mode, Two Weeks in Paradise. There's also South Park Rally a bad Mario Kart rip off. Postal 4 did had a chore where you race in scooters.

Postal series parodies many game franchises to a degree with Pac-Man being the most parodied among em. South Park: Chef's Luv Shack has mini game parodies of several Arcade classics. I'm sure they parodied more game franchises with the more recent entries. The closest South Park character to the Postal Dude is Eric Cartman yeah no fricking surprise there lol.

4. AVGN 1 & 2 Deluxe

Some of you may already seen this coming. AVGN 1 & 2 Deluxe is a great example of what would be an Postal game done in 2D that's also an unique platformer game. Just like South Park, most of the check list marked. In nearly every possible way this game vastly similar to the Postal series. Both the main characters are similar enough.

Yes this game can be quite over the top, offensive, comical itself. It is based on a famous video game review web show after all. I could easily connect the dots how similar the two are. This also one of my absolute favorite indie games ever made!!! It's virtually mind blowing all of these are on Xbox consoles but none of Postal series is why?

The main characters are strikingly similar in a lot of ways. There's plenty of violent moments with some truly disgusting ones. You also have a particular boss made out of feces I'm not making up that. They also have several different theme locations to play through as well. To some degree both reference other video games, AVGN heavily does from start to finish.

To a degree both has some self aware moments. They heavily involve beer being some form of a health item. I strongly felt out of all my choices, this one actually the closest to Postal series. Yes even more than South Park series, mind blowing I know. You virtually had nearly everything Postal series within it imaginable plus more to boot, there's no excuse for this!!!

Conclusion

Running with Scissors tried several times to make it happen. It's not clear why Microsoft turned them down every single time. Especially when most of these had somewhat notable successes. It's almost like they really didn't wanna take a chance on em. Maybe it's because Nintendo and Sony beating them so badly.

By allowing Postal series may hurt their chances. Not to mention, some Postal games are on some of their consoles too. Therefore, it could've struggled because of that too. Regardless what the actual reasons are. Postal series deserves to eventually get on Xbox consoles one day. It's almost like they looked at these games.

Then they felt Postal series wouldn't differ itself enough from them. Which there's some truth in that no doubt. There's people that really joy stuff like this. Postal are some truly amazing stuff if you could look pass the offensive stuff they have. Obviously people already doing that with Saints Row, South Park, AVGN and Conker prior to turning Running with Scissors attempts down.

Postal series is much more than it appears to be. In the end, they are making parody of the world in an entertaining matter. Most comedians brings out the offensive jokes. Why because if they kept playing it safe people stop coming to their shows. Personally Postal 2 has some of my favorite jokes ever in a video game.

Yes there's some truly violent moments as well as some disgusting ones. Then again most of these games are more meant for young adults. Deep down, parts of us is like The Postal Dude. I don't think Microsoft would lose much money either way of the situation. Maybe more indie developers would support em by allowing such an franchise onto their consoles.

Postal isn't for everyone there's no sugar coating that. But the same also is true about South Park or AVGN too. Also if you need to laugh these games would help to a degree. Majority of them are very replayable games. It's a real shame Microsoft won't allow such an controversial franchise. But they recently allow some of their games onto PlayStation's service?

Postal does deserve more respect than what Microsoft shown to it. Personally when I originally heard Running with Scissors pitched one of the Postal games to them, it would be a slam dunk. Well it was a dunk alright not a good one either. Microsoft been supporting indie developers for years. Which further bags the question why they kept turning Running with Scissors down like this is beyond me.

Covering Fourteen Killer Clown movies

Special thanks to Tubi.

The period I watched all these movies was March 24 and 25, 2024 alone.

Hello everyone I'm XboxClown89, over a few months. A part of me really wanted to do an killer clown movie marathon. Probably because I'm so hype up for Killer Klowns from Outer Space: The Game. I figured to throw caution to the wind to allow my curiosity guide me. The amount of killer clown movies did differ a few times.

Ultimately stopping at four killer clown movies. I put a lot of hours worth watching all of them with ads just for fun. I got to be honest I surprisingly had a great time doing such an marathon. Considering more people becoming afraid of clowns is growing. It really shouldn't be a surprise covering this many of them still isn't scratching the surface.

Stuff like zombies and sharks has so many movies it's ridiculous. I felt I was due for writing such a blog entry in a long time. I will be discussing all of them just not doing a full ranking. Which would be a little time consuming as well as full reviews of every single movie. Therefore, I figured a more quick review style would fitting here.

Some guide lines I had while doing my recent killer clown movie marathon on Tubi as they follow down below...

1. Every killer clown movie must be labeled in category wise as horror

2. The titles must have either the word clown or alternation takes of it

Clownado (2019)

Despite the title being similar to Sharknado series. It's more of it's own thing with a small group of clowns using tornadoes to travel around. Maybe this is just me, the boss clown was sorta ripping off Killjoy from Killjoy series. I knew about the film from Facebook for years. All the weirdness helps make it truly stand out among killer clown movies.

The Clown Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Not only it's a rip off of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It's also technically ripping off Halloween series due to taking place on Halloween. The actual killer clown was essentially an altered Leatherface costume. Parts of this movie got reused in a horror anthology movie released the same year.

Clown Doll (2019)

This is heavily a knock off of Chucky series. Both involve dolls possessed by serial killers. The story ends up being somewhat similar to Curse of Chucky. Which came out six years prior, the actual clown doll comes off being a little creepy. They ripped off a particular Chucky kill from Bride of Chucky too that involved an woman getting electrocuted in a bath tub.

Clowntergeist (2017)

Despite the title sorta referencing Poltergeist series. I kinda have to say this is more of a supernatural clown stalking victims with time limits. The actual clown does come off being creepy. This was another movie I knew about from Facebook for years. Honestly, you aren't missing much by not watching this.

Clowns in the Woods (2021)

This has a more tragedy story reminding me of Slaughter High. Both involve the main character got pranked that ended horribly. Which led to the people responsible getting slaughtered. You won't feel sorry for them either. I'm not used to seeing ghost clown movies myself. Parts of it are a little better than expected just not a home run.

Tickles the Clown (2021)

I'm not going to sugar coat this. Easily among the bottom of the barrel I watched recently. This was the only animated movie in this lineup that's not exactly horror. But it got labeled that with science fiction with the later being very presented in comparison. Around 80 to 85% of the movie is two characters talking to each other no joke.

Amityville Clownhouse (2017)

This is playing of the usual Amityville murders concept. But this involves the spirit of a killer clown with a monkey toy. This movie has some terrible pacing it's difficult to describe. Very ballsy to kill an family off early in a movie like that!!! This is also among the bottom of the barrel. It's more of a possession movie that quickly over stays it's welcome.

Clownery (2020)

Despite it's rating on IMDB's website I say it's roughly actually 5.0 movie. This involved a tragedy that occurred during a little girl's birthday party. I think at a point you start noticing the ending before it actually happens. It kinda reminds me of Secret Window with Johnny Depp but not nearly as interesting or well made.

Gags the Clown (2018)

This was actually inspired by several clown sightings in real life. It also sorta rips some things from Pennywise. Such as instead of having a lot of red balloons, their black balloons. This movie tried to follow multiple points of view that ends abruptly. Don't expect a lot of deaths when watching this. This is more heavily found footage style movie, not something I'm a huge fan of.

House of Clowns (2022)

This is similar to a much better horror movie that also had clowns called The Funhouse Massacre. Where a small group of people gets to explore an haunted house. Unknown to them is a lot of people trying to kill em lurks inside. You won't like the ending it leaves a mixed taste in your mouth.

Clown Nightmare (2019)

This heavily felt like a home made horror movie. Some rather cheesy special effects with no decent actors among em. I'm fine with movies not having a decent cast for B movies. It just doesn't quite work with what they were going for. Even the story itself doesn't make sense. I'm not trying to say this got rushed but sure looks like it.

Beware of the Klowns (2015)

Somehow they made being a clown come off being racist. The sheriff made a new law against clowns. It's as silly as some of the laws Burgermeister Meisterburger in Santa Claus Is Coming' to Town special. This movie surprisingly works way better than expected. One weird positive is it's a better movie than The Mean One with a similar plot.

Clown Kill (2014)

A woman gets stalked at work by a psychotic clown. Honestly cutting a little more than half the movie. Easily would've made this somewhat better than it actually is. This movie is strangely boring for a little too long. By the time, people start getting murdered you likely already stopped watching it.

Clown Fear (2020)

A small group of women came to Clown City. There's a lot of horror movies where almost everyone you see is in on the horrific acts. A lot of the clowns looks more interesting. Some brutal kill scenes especially late into it. Also a rather unexpected ending as well. Honestly, it's difficult to say check it out or don't watch it.

I will confirm my two favorites as well as my two least favorites in this lineup. I hope this isn't too much clowning around haha. I will start with my least favorites since I already gave both of them away. Easily two of the absolute worst horror movies I ever seen. Surprisingly not quite Attack of the Killer Donuts bad though.

Amityville Clownhouse is a terrible take on the concept. Now I actually recommend checking out Amityville Dollhouse it's way better than this!!! Virtually doesn't do enough to differ itself from the usual Amityville horror movies. When the monkey toy started showing up I actually got confused. In nearly every possible way it's so bad!!!

Tickles the Clown is surprisingly even worst than Amityville Clownhouse. This felt more like an animated video while someone reading an audio book level quality. The CGI animation was dinosaur being not much better than the 90s CGI shows like ReBoot. Characters can't seem to stop their movements especially Tickles that constantly moving almost like he's ready to attack.

Kicking off my favorites with the lineup itself not being that solid to begin with. Clownado was vastly different from what I expected. They don't hold back on the gore despite how ugly the actual gore looks. It kinda had the most interesting stuff going on within the story out of all the movies. Clownado is borderline recommend if you want more killer clown movies.

Hands down the one killer clown movie I actually would watch again. Gags the Clown being a lost footage killer clown movie, it still had some positives. The story is kinda mixed with some interesting moments on the way. We had a famous streamer attempting to go after the clown. Not only that, each major points of view brought something different to the table to spice things up

I figured to throw out other killer clown movies I highly recommend checking out. Way more worth doing a killer clown marathon out of these movies instead. A lot of them actually on Tubi making that a great way to get into those great killer clown movies. Keep in mind, this is my opinion alone.

1. Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

This always been my favorite killer clown movie to date. This movie is so unique even with a low budget that ended up being very great. It's a fun time especially when you really need something different horror wise, go watch this!!!

2. IT series

Yes I'm going to include the 90s mini series despite Part 2 got rushed out. Come on all of these are must watch for killer clown fans out there.

3. Stitches (2012 film)

This is one of those must watch killer clown movies. The world actually needs more comedy horror films like this.

4. Clown (2014 film)

Here's a possession movie I actually enjoyed. I usually don't enjoy em very much. Clown was such an unexpected concept that works insanely well.

5. Clownhouse (1989)

Despite the controversial what the director done during production. I still enjoy the movie itself for what it is.

6. The Funhouse Massacre

I highly recommend such a blood fest of a great time. This movie really doesn't hold back at all. It's like the greatest roller coast ride with screaming so loud a few cities could hear you.

7. Terrifier series

Terrifier series is very nightmare fuel stuff. Art is still among the creepiest slasher villains I have ever seen!!!

8. Slaughter High

A spiritual successor to Friday the 13th series that I surprisingly like more than the best of them. This movie kinda goes under the radar for a lot of people, it's quite a great movie indeed.

Hell's Kitchen (2005-present) review

Hello everyone I'm XboxClown89, today I really wanna review one of my favorite shows ever. A show I used to watch with my mom for many years. Thanks to Hulu, I finally gotten caught up to date with the seasons. It's another long running Fox show, Hell's Kitchen. Easily my favorite show of his by far. To be fair, MasterChef is no joke to what it brings to the table either.

Hell's Kitchen (2005-present)

I watched twenty two seasons with most of them I seen as they aired on TV. Hell's Kitchen is one of those long running realty competition shows you hear about over the years. Chef Ramsay acts like a drill sergeant for majority of the show. He breaks every chef down then rebuilds em into great chefs. Every challenge is designed to help better em in many ways.

Let's be honest he isn't going to give such opportunities to anyone. You really gotta work for it as proven by every season of the show. The main prize is the winner gets an executive chef position in a new restaurant somewhere in Las Vegas. I know some people might get thrown off by the name itself. Yes it's one of five sections within the state of New York.

Hell's Kitchen is actually the name of the restaurant used for this Ramsay show as well as the title of the show too. Maybe a little confusing for some people I apologize. I used to watch several cooking shows for many years. This was among the ones I looked forward to the most. Along with Top Chef as well as Chopped to name a few.

Yes a lot of challenges gets used a lot. More recently later in the seasons Chef Ramsay throws more curve balls the chefs don't see coming. A lot of them aren't that great at cooking. He does get some truly amazing chefs from time to time. Usually he splits the chefs into two teams using funny enough the two colors of military versus games.

Red and blue with red mostly being the women team while blue being the men team. Chef Ramsay barely does non eliminations on his show. It's more likely more than one person gets eliminated. Although those happens due to how disappointing their performances truly were. Most their dinner services doesn't go well.

Anyone thinking otherwise needs to get their eyes checked lol. Chef Ramsay is constantly putting pressure onto the chefs there's no breaks. He also has two sous chefs that helps both kitchens out. Yes he made two kitchens roughly the same size right next to each other. The only major difference is parts of it being either more blue or red respectively.

Chef Ramsay is constantly throwing curve balls. Even when the chefs starts to expect things. It's almost like putting more paranoia on them knowing Chef Ramsay going to test em more. In all honestly, he does want to be an mentor. He wants the very best chef among every group. Yes his standards are incredibly high with his reputation to meet it.

You can bet this is drama central for cooking shows. People getting upset at each other for so many reasons. Eventually a handful of them receive their black jackets. More recently, you have to earn em, which I actually respect Chef Ramsay for. Only the final two at a point during the conclusion gets head chef uniforms.

This isn't Chef Ramsay's first cooking show but close to it. There's a huge chance this possibly the one he's the most known for. Yes even throwing in Kitchen Nightmares or MasterChef. He doesn't hold back on either giving the rewards or the punishments. Some of these rewards are mind blowing. Sometimes rewards has unexpected surprises that makes em even better.

A random fact about the show not many people knows. The original version being the British version aired for four seasons. Chef Ramsay was the original host only in season 1 of that version. It also was done notably different from the US counterparts including how elimination works. Season 2 on that version made it closer to the US version's format.

Some of these punishments can be rather unforgiving at times. End of the day, regardless you won a lot of rewards or kept getting the punishments. Chef Ramsay still wants you to compete harder than you ever had before. He expects greatness out of every single person that competed on his show. This quickly became a timeless classic in every sense of the word.

Hell's Kitchen means so much to the right people. Some might view it being the cooking variation of The Jerry Springer Show. I strongly believe this show is way more than that. You do learn stuff from watching it. Not just about people but some great cooking tips as well as how restaurants works. You get to see people grow as you watch each season of the show.

Chef Ramsay could easily make any compilation from this show. Many people would have a great time watching em. Hell's Kitchen is easily among the best Fox shows I ever seen. Almost one of the most inspiring I ever gotten into as well. The world needs more shows like Hell's Kitchen. I just don't think it can be recreated by anyone else not even Chef Ramsay himself.

Very recently I fully watched the most recent season deeply surprised how damn great it was. Easily within my Top 5 Favorite Hell's Kitchen seasons to date. For me, the bar is set insanely high after watching it. Chef Ramsay must've been deeply proud. Honestly, it's a very strong recommendation go watch that season.

I know I don't often review cooking shows. But this particular one always meant so much to me. It actually got me into Chef Ramsay with MasterChef. I already lost count how many cooking shows he's hosting now. A handful on other channels with majority of them being on Fox channel. End of the day, thank you so much Chef Ramsay for a truly amazing cooking show.

What If...? show Season 2 review

Hello everyone I'm XboxClown89, I previously reviewed Season 1 of Marvel's What If...? show. Now I'm back to review Season 2 of this show. The same amount of episodes for another crazy season filled with some rather interesting possibilities. How does it stack up to Season 1 only one way to find out.

Season 2 (2023)

A few alternate universe counterpart characters from Season 1 returns. I will try to not spoil much to help prevent ruining it for people. I can say parts of it was a little more ambitious this time around. Some of these stories turned out to be very interesting. Unlike Season 1, there is no stories I disliked. Already heading into the right direction.

I also loved they help give us more of an idea how the multiverse works. I seen similar events in The Flash show on The CW before. Somehow it actually lived up to the hype. Honestly I love they took risks with many concepts. Some supporting characters got more time than they previously did in the main canon universe.

I already knew with such a concept the possibilities are insanely high. It is very difficult to predict which stories we're going to get. I don't think any story over stayed it's welcome either. This includes how most the episodes ends. Not only that they didn't hold back on epic moments. This is full blown fan service.

I would support this over Super Dragon Ball Heroes any day of the week. They nailed it out the park once again. I don't have much actual criticism either. I would say the closest issue I had is trying to imagine how these events differ from those of the main canon universe's events. Although the Watcher does help things a bit by explaining it.

This show really lives up to it's name in every sense of the word. I'm not saying this is the best MCU show. It would deserve being labeled as the most unpredictable MCU show hands down. Some of these stories seemed bigger than some of the events in the actual movies. Which is rather impressive how they went about the most ambitious story to end an season on.

My thoughts on The Crow (2024) trailer

Hello everyone I'm XboxClown89, I knew about the trouble development of The Crow (2024 movie) for years. It had been in development hell a long time. At one point we almost gotten a movie with Jason Momoa. The actor that played Aquaman in DC Extended Universe movies. I actually got a lot to say about The Crow (2024) trailer.

I'm a huge fan of the concept The Crow centers around. Most these characters suffered horrific ends to life with someone that loved. Enough pain in fact, their spirits can't rest. Crows would bring em back to life to get revenge on the people responsible. It almost comes off like The Punisher style but more justified as well as even the playing field.

Bill Skarsgard that previously played Pennywise in two movies going to play Eric Draven in the upcoming movie. Which is going directly against the one thing I really didn't want em to do. I strongly felt they should've made an entire original story with characters. So many people felt at it's current state, it's leaving a horrible taste on the late Brandon Lee.

The original film is easily one of the absolute finest 90s comic book movies ever made!!! I personally dislike the actual Crow look of the character. People are getting rather tired about Woke stuff. Which already another red flag for the movie. Just going by the trailer itself I say it's way better than The Crow: Wicked Prayer.

Let's be honest it isn't hard to be better than that. Right now it's currently going head to head with The Crow: City of Angels. I highly doubt it would be good enough to take on The Crow: Salvation. Now that was a surprisingly great movie despite it's obstacles. I don't think Skarsgard was a good pick for the film either.

Don't get me wrong he is a good actor. It just one of those roles unless you have the right person casted. Whatever it is doomed to fail, a very true reality for the film itself. I also wished some moments weren't revealed in the trailer. Like how the couple died or how one of his targets gets killed off. I felt removing both of those would've made the trailer slightly better.

Not a big enough change to make me wanna go see the film. I'm just as funny about Edward Furlong being casted in The Crow: Wicked Prayer too. At least, he was a little more fitting of the role. Neither compares to Brandon Lee or Eric Mabius though. Even parts of Vincent Perez's performance in The Crow: City of Angels is somewhat rememberable.

I know a lot of people dislike that film. I kinda liked it despite many things. Still way better than the game so there's that. Not to mention, the new Crow character looks just like The Joker in Suicide Squad movie. I will be brutally honest pathetic!!! I don't think the punk look fits well with the actual concept. It would be difficult to feel sorry for someone like that in comparison to a regular person.

At least Jimmy in The Crow: Wicked Prayer looked more like the character. Even Perez made his Crow look worked surprisingly well. Personally Mabius had my favorite Crow look with Lee having my second favorite. In comparison, the character comes more off like an poser. Kinda like the Jokerz gang not led by The Joker in Batman Beyond show.

Therefore, I already felt quite rip off. Even the 90s Spawn movie was better than this. Especially considering John Leguizamo's performance. He spent a lot of the movie in a suit while laying on his back. What's this film's excuse for anything? Words can't properly describe the insane level of disappointment I felt from the trailer.

I also felt hiding the main antagonist could've helped the trailer as well. Just having that removed could easily led to those interested in the movie. Start throwing out guesses who they think is rememberable? Which is way better than this old man got revealed within the trailer. The actor was previously in 30 Days of Night, likely much better film than this.

There's no question he's also a good actor. It just felt like parts of what they're going for doesn't line up. It's almost like trying to find an jigsaw puzzle but you're missing pieces. You obviously incapable of finishing the puzzle. The Crow itself had a lot to live up to. Even the short lived show that's also based on Eric Draven's story better than this.

Again they easily could've made original versions rather than recycling old ones like this. At one point, The Crow was going to be a woman. A concept partly done in the show to a degree. It's more fully done within the comics. It felt like everyone has their own take on the same concept. This felt more like rushing it out with the worst possible direction imaginable.

I won't be surprise if this bombs in theaters. I'm kinda hoping for it honestly. It doesn't deserve the name on such a film. I'm actually more less sold on the film just going by that trailer. I highly doubt another trailer or two going to change my mind. Sometimes a film is doomed but they just won't let it die. Perfectly describes the film in a nut shell.

The Crow is meant to be dark. You may get some light moments as well. Ultimately, you felt bad for those it happened to. When they come back alive, you root for them to get even with the same people responsible. I can't honestly felt the same way towards this movie. Even Ghostbusters with a female cast was more of it's own thing than this.

To clarify, I'm well aware people hated the gender swapped. Personally it never bothered me much. What actually did get under my skin is the film itself simply a retelling of the original Ghostbusters. Not a great one at that either. It's sad it took this long for another movie in the franchise to happen. I can't even say they took their time with it because the truth is it's the opposite.

I would even say the entire history leading up to the actual film going to be ten times more interesting. All the confirmed major changes alone you quickly see why this is going to fail. They were so desperate to bring the franchise back. They already stopped caring about what they should've done. Which was simply let the film die!!!

Eventually we may gotten another movie in the franchise. But continuing something that's in a notable development hell period usually doesn't end well long term. The Crow deserves way more respect than that. I hate to say it, fan films could better justify many things than Hollywood ones fail at. There's a good Spawn fan film that's widely popular on the internet.

I felt a fan film in the right hands would be virtually thirty times better than this. I have seen some rather impressive fan films over the years. The possibility is quite real indeed. I would rather watch a well made The Crow fan film over this. I'm aware Crow (2022 fan film) exists. The comics went through several comic book companies over the years.

Based on what I heard about them more constant than this. The Crow shouldn't be a one time wonder. I would welcome a female Crow character or a small group of them working together. Both of those way more interesting than what we're actually getting. The Crow is something truly special to the right people.

I can't even say I liked anything about the trailer at all. Sometimes trailers can be much better than the actual film. This is a time I may prefer the trailer due to not being long at all. I'm also sure the other Crow movie trailers are better than this. I just went out of my way to watch em for this blog entry. Even The Crow: Wicked Prayer trailer worked a little better than this kinda pathetic in all honestly.

I have no reason to support such a film. This is as much of The Crow movie than Leprechaun: Origins was a Leprechaun movie. Again that really isn't a Leprechaun movie!!! Sure you have several characters from the comics that previously taken from two other adaptations. Sadly none of the soul that made those stand out in their own right.

The Crow is doomed to sink the franchise once again. I never understood why kept a sinking ship floating much longer than it should. You can't simply do quick fix ups then call it a day. Virtually the movie version of the same concept. They chose to go the easy route that they knew Crow fans really didn't want in the first place.

I actually would have a reason to laugh if The Crow: City of Angels made more money than this. Very likely in the same matter as Perez in that film. This felt like a major missed opportunity. This could've been a surprise hit in so many ways. But instead they chosen to do the controversial safe option. People wondered why Dead Rising 4 failed?

People want something different. For starters, there's so many stuff within the concept alone. They easily could've done if they were more willing to go the distance. Sadly, the only distance I'm seeing is Crow fans not going to see this!!! Honestly I am truthfully deeply disappointed in this. Then again my expectations hearing about this development hell over the years kept things small.

Therefore, I can quickly write it off as no sir I rather watch several other movies over this. It's truly amazing how this movie franchise started so great to fall overtime. The Crow: Salvation being second best in many ways. I am not even sure if the comics still going on or not. I felt those would be way more worth your time than this!!!