Special thanks to Running with Scissors
Hi everyone I'm Jack Red, I recently bought a couple Postal stuff on Steam this past Friday. Most of it will be reviewed in this blog entry. I already covered the original Postal and Postal 2 with two of it's expansions. I felt before I get to the movie that I should finish what I started. Unfortunately I did have one surprise planned but Hatred wouldn't play due to a driver issue.
1. Postal 2: Share the Pain
Very recently I gave the multiplayer expansion pack a try. Unfortunately I don't know how to get it working on GOG. Steam made sure you can go straight to it right off the bat. Regardless as of a few years ago isn't being supported meaning be careful to connecting to other user's servers. This is mostly deathmatch or team deathmatch you play against other players.
You get some odd choices for playable characters although I do see the joke lol. This also adds two new locations to the main game. Up til Paradise Lost dlc, you don't have any reason for checking them out. Postal 2: Share the Pain is unusual for an expansion pack. No not the same way as Master Levels for Doom II.
It is weird they chose to make the multiplayer it's own game before GTA lol. This does remind me of South Park and Conker's Bad Fur Day's multiplayer on Nintendo 64. I swear I haven't played anything that came close to them until now. Postal 2 does take a long time for the first match but very quickly loads up other matches.
Postal 2: Share the Pain I would say is a great needed addition to an already over the top ridiculous game. I also like you can make part of the experience yourself like some FPS with multiplayer does. For all it's worth this is one everybody needs to play at least once. Trust me you will have a great job online against other people.
2. Postal 2: Corkscrew Rules
Before anyone freaks the hell out that may lead to some stupid things happening. Let me explain how I got to play this rather Russia exclusive spin off expansion game. Running with Scissors allowed another team yes before Postal III to make what we have here. Postal 2: Corkscrew Rules has no connections to anything Postal 2 with mostly Osama Bin Laden appearing in it.
A small group of people recreated this expansion with a loose English translation. Which means parts of the scrips are off. The subtitles goes off much sooner than it should. Also I more directly meant parts of scripted sequences that must occur in order to continue the game. Unfortunately this is even surprisingly less linear than Apocalypse Weekend while not as close as entertaining.
I believe three new weapons you won't have unless you use Steam workshop. There's four days you play through but must be done in order. Which is more strict about doing that than Apocalypse Weekend. For starters you have to check out three locations. However the game doesn't make it clear you have to visit them in order.
Oh wait it gets more frustrating the first of these said buildings you have to talk to several secretaries. Parts of this is randomized meaning you will likely get confused reading the guide someone made. You have to do this process a handful of times with at least one being upstairs. Sometimes it could be two of them up there you need to speak to.
After all that trouble the man you came to meet was not surprisingly on the first level in a room in another room. Yeah it turns out by not doing this correctly won't unlock his door. You could try cheating by flying in there but you still won't get the important half of the conversation. I should mention this heavily focuses on sexual content.
There actually is some real porn in this expansion. Mostly pictures but the fact one small cut scenes doesn't censor the ladies is something I'm not used to seeing. The plot follows a ex porn star named Corkscrew looking for his manhood. I'm not kidding he took a few days to possibly getting it back to other get someone else's instead.
The humor in this one isn't as good. I could excuse the language being mostly in Russian. To me this doesn't really feel like a true Postal game. There is a new map you will quickly learn your way around. This expansion doesn't even come close to being as ridiculous as the main game or the other expansions.
Postal 2: Corkscrew Rules has possibly the shortest level of all Postal 2. All you need to do on Thursday is hunt down Osama Bin Laden. Yeah I should mention the first three days most of it you can't skip. Although you could skip doing a politician a fair by killing him. By doing so you can go straight home instead.
The story itself was I hate to say kinda not interesting. I wanted to laugh simply because this was a part of Postal 2. Hell there's no point of hiding it anymore this was the worst Postal 2 expansion. Share the Pain brought in multiplayer that's still being played today. Apocalypse Weekend maybe two days shorter but really pushed the envelope in terms of it's unusual, offensive possibly dark humor.
Paradise Lost had that pushed up to 11 I'm not kidding. I even thought that was even crazier than the main game itself. Postal 2: Corkscre Rules could've been a hidden gem worth checking out. Sadly I can't honestly recommend it even to the fan base. I will say based on what I do know about Postal III that this is still way better.
3. Postal 2: Paradise Lost
I must apologize in advance I thought I already reviewed this dlc but it turns out I didn't actually say anything about it. Postal 2: Paradise Lost takes place 11 years after the conclusion of Apocalypse Weekend. Similar to the main game you play from Monday to Friday. Just when you thought it couldn't get any crazier you are dead wrong lol.
I would say for me this was the best out of all the expansions. Not only the humor as well as getting more ridiculous is higher than everything they done before. They also did an amazing job keeping it true after all these years. Funny enough, Postal III failing the way it did. Running with Scissors had little to nothing to do with that abomination.
They felt we truly deserve better than what we ended up with. The Postal Dude was in a radiated induced coma all those years. I also like they actually have two endings this time. On Friday, after you finish your chores and defeat the last three story bosses prior to your decision. You could either escape the town with Champ or defeat all five faction leaders.
Among escaping the town, Paradise gets nuked yet again during it's third apocalypse. Seriously how many times does The Postal Dude must endure such madness. I swear this guy must be related to the Doomguy. Just like the main game you have freedom to do what you want as well as picking which chores to do.
If you chose to take them on, yes all five of them are all boss fights. Two of them are very similar to what you faced before. Mostly Mike J and Zack Ward while you never faced the other three before. Although he does know all of them. I couldn't believe they push the ridiculous level through the roof this time.
But most levels has more to do right after you finish. I also like the new weapons you get this time around. My favorite has to be the new shotgun especially after you drink a particular power up. You can suddenly fire two of them at the same time but it's so awesome how the games goes about it. I also like we finally get to see his ex wife called The Bitch.
Basically his nemesis that ultimately caused him to lose it. I do get the job between their relationship. Obviously not a lot of people will like it. I said screw them I find this entertaining lol. The new overlook view of everything looks amazing for the most part. This is hands down the very thing I need to be happy while playing their games.
To me sure I really enjoyed Postal 2. I also enjoyed Apocalypse Weekend, I just wanted a little freedom. Considering a lot happens close together. Share the Pain is fun for a few hours. Corkscrew Rules is better left forgotten sorry guys. Paradise Lost is much more than the icing on this cake. This took an already amazing game to a totally new level.
This felt like what Postal III should've been. This dlc expansion is truly mind blowing to everything it brings to the table. I have to be honest I didn't know much about any of this prior to first playing. OMG this won me over much faster than the main game by a long shot. Call me crazy but I really enjoyed playing Paradise Lost.
4. Postal Redux
I don't have much to say regarding Postal Redux. Basically what I said for Postal still stands here. I do like Postal 2's voice of The Postal Dude reprises his role in this game. Originally Vince of Running with Scissors voiced the character. Maybe he're the one true Postal Dude lol. The expansion levels as well as those from the Japanese version were later added for free.
Also for free is this game's soundtrack. The overall game play is noticeably faster with smarter AI. Postal Redux almost made it to PlayStation 4. They added the revolver that was among new weapons added in Postal 2: Paradise Lost. A new carnival level that looks amazing complete with clowns. Yes the new NPC characters are clowns sure they don't do much but yeah I'll take it.
Instead of Gauntlet mode, you now have Rampage mode. Virtually there's not a lot of differences between the two modes. They completely removed the school cut scene out of the game. Originally when they did it, believe it or not wasn't common back then. This was around a real life school shooting.
Now you get a short new final level where all you do is move to where the priest is. After a few minutes The Postal Dude falls. I heard now when you do alternate campaigns will have their own endings. It is better than no ending at all so I praise them for doing that. There is one particular change I honestly wasn't a fun of.
Originally after killing enough hostiles you press F1 to go to the next level. Keep in mind, these levels are way shorter than those of Postal 2. A better way of saying it is I could do roughly half of Postal 1 in the time it takes me to finish Thursday of Corkscrew Rules. Now either you still kill enough of them or it automatically opens the exit.
Yes some levels you don't even need to explore. They place you too close to some of the last level's exits. I don't mine killing enough of them to open the exit. But when I start a level telling me it's open already. I know trouble is waiting close by. Some of them forces you to take risks in order to survive. As previous states in my Postal 1 review, there's no bosses at all.
The soundtrack itself is works but I still prefer classic version's lines. I do like I can tell which characters are civilian or hostiles. I had a tough time in some levels of the original with that. Overall I would say this is more of a definitive Postal 1 experience. They even gave most weapons their own execution animations.
4. Postal the Movie
Up to right now I haven't reviewed a single Uwe Boll movie. There is a great reason for that I simply hate his work. Especially House of the Dead was so bad for me it was the single worst video game movie ever made. I will say Postal the Movie did changed a lot in my eyes. I seen this many years ago not playing any of the Postal games.
I bought it on Steam to watch it the following day. OMG oh okay this is a surprisingly a good take of Postal. Sure there are some things off but at least they aren't terribly off like most of his video game movies. Postal follows The Postal Dude played by Zack Ward. Who also appears as himself in Postal 2: Paradise Lost.
He tries to be good but those around him kept doing terrible things. A good amount of the movie, he wanted to help Uncle Dave with his problem. Trust me if you expect this to get ridiculous to some degree like Postal 2 then you shouldn't be too disappointed. Obviously they parodied Osama Bin Laden and former president George W. Bush.
Gary Colemon decline to appear but we ended up with Verne Troyer. RIP man you are awesome seriously he is a great actor. Postal is a movie you have to close your mind & need to laugh. Even Running with Scissors makes an appearance in this movie. So does Uwe Boll himself that later led to his cameo in Postal III.
This movie is never meant to be taken seriously. In fact just like Postal 1 and to some degree Postal 2. All he wanted up til having enough from people was to be good. This further proves he wasn't the bad guy along. Those around him are the crazy ones. The ending is kinda mess up in a way I really shouldn't spoil it.
I will say despite the director's reputation this was a faithful movie. It look a lot of offensive things from Postal 2. This movie has some strange humor that not everyone will get. Technically speaking the dude's love interest in this movie could be considered as the Postal Babe. There so happens to be a spin off game on mobile devices called Postal Babes.
I also own The Angry Video Game Nerd Movie with both games & seven Leprechaun movies on Steam. I have a rather unusual twisted dark sense of humor. This movie does fit the bill I don't think anyone else would watch it with me. Postal does a great job being a lot like the game without making it obvious.
I don't even want to spoil the full plot. It will remind you of stuff like South Park & Conker's Bad Fur Day. Yeah that kind of mess you really shouldn't even attempt to explain. This was a great movie for what it is. I ended up getting it for half price. Which marks the first time I bought a movie discounted on Steam.
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